Blood on the Bedspread
by Chris Bok Choy
Summary: As Edward leaves Munich, Germany to learn more about rockets so he can attempt to return to his brother, he takes a detour to Transylvania, Romania due to a rumor of immortal beings known as Vampires, which seem similar to the homunculi.
1. Chapter 1 Translyvania

OMG…. Authors note.

This FMA Fanfic is from the FIRST anime. So if you're wondering "When the fuck did this happen?", watch the 2003 anime, not the 2007 one. Or not the manga, because they're the same.

Kai: We had classmates read it and they were like "When the fuck did this happen?".

Yui: It was rather funny.

Kai: This story is about vampires. So if you don't like imagining Edward being raped by a bunch of vampires, don't read this.

Yui: On the other hand, if you like imagining Edward being tortured and shit, go ahead.

Kai: You are sick and psychotic.

Yui: So are you.

**Glare**

It was a gray, rainy day. Another rainy day in Munich, Germany. Ed packed his crap in his briefcase, ready to learn more about rockets from the Doctor. However, Ed couldn't remember his name. The journey would take him to some country, where Ed was hoping to learn if "outer space" would lead him to the gate. That way, he could return to Amestris and be once again, re-united with his brother, Alphonse.

However, Ed was taking a secret detour. One he hadn't even told his father about. He had heard at a bar about a rumor of immortal people. People who have inhuman strength and speed, and regenerate once wounded. People who sound suspiciously like a certain group of people (more like a group of things): the Homunculi.

The detour he was taking took him to Romania, where these beings lived. These beings called Vampires.

After saying a short, curt goodbye to his (god forsaken son of a-) father, Edward got on the train and felt a strange feeling. As he extended his auto-mail arm (something way more technologically advanced) towards the sky, he vowed to never stop trying. Never stop trying to get back to Alphonse.

After a long train ride to Transylvania, where the most rumors were originated, Edward stretched his legs and got up from his wooden bench. Endless gray sky that threatened rain stretched for miles and miles, meeting the earth at the horizon. Edward got off the train, and began wandering around, looking for an inn to stay at. He also was hoping to catch a few Vampire stories.

As he found his way into "The Broken Fiddle" inn, a warm fire and chatter greeted him. Thunder boomed outside and he was very glad he was out of the rain when it started. Paying for a room, he walked up the stairs, very tired indeed.

When he glanced up, he saw two people, hidden in the darkness (why didn't they invent electric lighting yet?). One had black hair, and pale skin. The other was a man he had seen downstairs earlier and had retired to his room. Both were in a tight embrace. Ed opened his door and placed his stuff inside and closed it. He glanced at them again and began downstairs.

That is, until Edward noticed the blood. Lots of it. Dripping from the mans neck.

"Hey!" Edward exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

The dark haired person looked up.

It was a strikingly beautiful girl, no more than 16 or 17 years old. Her porcelain skin was flawless, and her silky black hair cascaded down to her lower back. She was breathtakingly beautiful, and Ed might've slipped into a trance if he wasn't anchored by the thin trail of blood running down the corner of her mouth. She bore fangs.

She dropped the dead man's corpse with a dull thud. Their eye's locked.

Then, with incredible speed, she rushed past him and disappeared down the stairs. A wave of coldness struck him as she rushed by. Shouts of confusion issued from below, and Edward ran (more like fell) downstairs, certain he had seen a Vampire. But when he got there, everyone was starring at the door. She had disappeared.

Edward rushed outside, pelted by the stinging rain. He was sure he had found a vampire. That moment ensured the fact that he was going to stay here for quite awhile.

He also was embarrassed at the fact that he considered the vampire very beautiful. He blushed. No, he had to stay focused! But her face…

Running down and alleyway, he was tacked by someone. Someone, who he noticed (not on purpose!) smelled of roses. Very fragrant roses.

"Who are you, and what do you want with me?" a voice breathed in his ear.

Edward gulped. She was lying on top of him, her body pressed up against his. He blushed again. Her skin was cold. "I was jus-"

She narrowed her eyes. "Just?"

"Just interested in you. What are you?"

She sighed, and got off him (much to his dismay… damn! Edward, stay focused!) and sat on a wet crate. Edward propped himself up on his elbows.

"You aren't from around here, are you?" she inquired. After receiving a nod from the (short) blond boy, she continued. "I am a vampire. An undead being that was created by being bitten by another vampire."

Edwards jaw dropped open. He quickly shut it, but not quick enough to keep the girl from noticing. She smiled a bit. "We have incredible speed, strength, stamina and cannot die of old age. Nor do we age."

Edward compared these facts to the homunculi. Aside from the bitten part, they were practically alike in every way.

"But there's a catch to all the benefits." She told him. Edward tilted his head in confusion.

She took a deep breath, and said "We have to drink the blood of living humans to survive."

Edward gasped. "But that's worse than the philosophers-" but then he shut up.

"Than the what?" she asked. Her eyes were questioning.

Edward shrugged. "It's a thing that's created using hundreds of human lives."

"That's horrible!"

"I know."

She got up. Licking her fangs she said "Well, I guess I have to eat you now. Nothing personal, just we can't let anyone know about us." She added when she saw Ed twitch and recoil up against the wall. The alley was a dead end. He couldn't escape.

She approached him, and bit him and drained his blood. Ed's vision began to fade to black, and in his delirium, he noticed a random llama grazing on grass across the street in a meadow. The vampire stopped draining blood and caught his body as it fell limp.

Kai: Sorry about the cliffhanger. This isn't the end!

Yui: I'm not sorry at all. Let them suffer **laughs evilly**

Kai: :O

Yui: I'm kidding.

Kai: On an interesting note, we're going to Kamori-con, a cos-play convention in September (2011). It's in Washington, so message us if you're going!

Yui: We're going as rapists.

Kai: No we aren't.

Yui: We're going as the Noah from -Man.

Kai: I'm going as Tyki….

Yui: And I'm going as Jasdevi! (Fused form)

Kai: And we'll be typing fan-fiction while we're there. On laptops.

Yui: Jokin'.

Kai: So message you douches! It's your messages that gave birth to this fan-fic!

Yui: SO MESSAGE US!


	2. Chapter 2 Vampire Virus

OMG another authors note.

Kai: My sister isn't here right now, so I am going to do this before she screws it all up again.

My girlfriend wants me to be some guy named Dell Honne for the convention, who is a vocaloid. I have no idea what the hell a vocaloid is (message me if you do) so I have to google him later.

On a dumb, retarded note, I have to walk to school each day (Yui goes later because I have before school activities) and it turns out, after the cold, exhausting walk for 20 minutes, it turns out theres a two-hour late start so I had to walk all the way back. It pissed me off. So Yui decided to hug me to make me feel better.

She epicly failed.

Enjoy the story. I am PISSED. So bad things are going to happen to Edo. **evil chuckle. **Like Rape. Or worse.

Ed slipped into unconsciousness. Why he thought they would let him just walk off with information like that he did not know.

One thing was for certain. He was screwed.

Where the fuck was he anyway? He was in a totally black space with a floor that looked like a checker board. He looked up. Gosh, the horizons allllll the wayyyyyyy over there.

Ed thought he sounded drunk. Or high.

Was he dying? He wasn't sure. All he was aware of was a prodding feeling in his shoulder.

It kept poking him. Whatever it was.

Edward awoke to a dimly lit room lit by candlelight. He was lying on a bed with clean white sheets and pillows and simple wooden furniture. His inn room.

Thank god. It was all a dream. He didn't die! What a stupid thing to think about. His neck was aching because he slept funny. No vampires, no dying. He just fell asleep. That's all.

But when he reached up to his neck to massage it, he stopped, and his blood ran cold. Two small holes, so small it was as if they were made by pencils. They were scabbing up, but they were right next to each other, the distance between them suggested….

Fangs.

Edward felt cold. Very cold. He was desperate for warmth. He lunged off the bed and quickly made a fire in the small mantle in his room. The small fire blazed, bathing the room in warmth.

It wasn't working. His skin felt stone cold. Even though he was a good foot away from the flames, they provided no warmth whatsoever. He felt like he was withdrawing from a drug addiction. In a last attempt, he thrust his hands into the flames.

Prickling with pain, the hands remained cold. The pain was unbearable, but there still was no heat. Pulling his (now burnt) hands out of the flames, he watched as his hand's skin grew over the burns, and all of a sudden, it was as if they never were burnt in the first place.

Oh no.

"I am a vampire. An undead being that was created by being bitten by another vampire." Her words echoed through his mind.

His mind raced back to that rainy day. She had bitten him and drained his blood to prevent from telling anyone about the vampires. But she didn't finish the job, and now he was, he was….

A monster. He was one of them.

But what else did she say? She said he needed to drink blood to survive right? So why hadn't he had any urges?

"Well, not yet you don't." came a voice from his open window. Rain was still pouring down, and thunder struck, silhouetting the shape of a girl sitting there. The vampire.

"What did you do to me?" Ed cried, shivering. The pain from the flames was the closest thing to heat he had felt, and now, in desperation, he was sub-consciously clawing his arms in desperation.

She sighed, rolling her eyes. "I infected you. The vampiric state is caused by a virus. When you are bitten, the virus infects you, making you cold. The coldness makes you crave blood and heat. Right now, you're in the partial stage."

Ed snapped. "So what makes you a full vampire?" Blood dripped from his arms, but then healed. Then Ed clawed them open again.

"Blood." She replied simply. "Upon consuming blood, the virus mutates and kills the host, but then raises them up again as a blood consuming creature."

"So all I have to do is not drink blood?" Ed asked. He hadn't craved blood yet, so he thought he was fine.

"Yeah, for eighty eight days. But as the virus spreads through your body, you begin to crave it more and more. Oh and one more thing. You're cold right?"

Ed nodded enthusiastically, but was then taken by surprise when she came up and embraced him. The heat from contact with her skin was overwhelming, and he trembled in sheer pleasure. He twitched on accident.

Caressing him, the vampire girl whispered close to his ear "The only heat you can get is from contact with a living body."

Ed's mouth suddenly went dry and he was taken over by an urge to just bite into the porcelain white neck just centimeters away from his face. The veins in her neck were practically screaming "Bite me! Bite me!"

Ed's sheer resolve and willpower was the only thing keeping him from doing so. And it only kept him from it by a little bit.

"Go to sleep now Edward. I'll take you places when you awake." She whispered.

"Whu…..wha….what's your name?" Ed asking, trying to clear the fogginess in his head that was making him sleepy.

He could feel her mouth move in a small smile. "Well… I'll tell you when you awake, ok?"

"mmphkay…" And Ed blacked out.

_As Edward falls asleep in the vampire's arms, she places him back on his bed. Her arms leave his body, and the coldness returns. Ed shivers, and she frowns. Then she leans over and kisses him on the cheek._

_It was the warmest thing Edward had ever felt._

_She leaves through the window, keeping the fire blazing, unaware of the tragedy that was about to happen._

"HOLY CRAP! EVERYONE RUN!"

"Why is the inn on fire?"

"Oh god, somebody help them!"

The inn blazed with incredible heat, illuminating the raindrops as the fell. The ground was scarlet for twenty feet around, and a crowd of people surrounded the fire.

"Is anyone in there?"

"No! We evacuated everyone! Unless they didn't hear us banging on their door!"

"So someone could still be in there?"

Everyone fell silent as the inn's wooden foundation burned and gave away to the weight. The building collapsed and one of the walls shattered, exposing a young man, (more like a boy) with long blonde hair sleeping peacefully. The collapse flung the boy onto the burning floor, face down. He hadn't moved.

"OMG somebody save him!"

"We can't! the beams holding up the roof are too weak!"

"The poor boy!"

Many of the people present began to weep, not noticing the llama padding toward the boy, mouthing his hair, and pulling him out of the burning wreckage. Hiding him in a ditch beside the road, he stood guard, waiting for his master.

"Wait! Where did the boy go?"

"Was he a ghost?"

The shouts of confusion soon died away as people dispersed. And the night was quiet again.

A man was walking toward the llama and the sleeping boy (How hard does he sleep!). His black cloak whipped around his body in the harsh wind, and the man had to hold his top hat onto his head. Upon coming up to the llama he petted it.

"Good boy Carl. Good boy."

Then he bent over, slung the unconscious body over his shoulder, and strode off, followed closely by Carl, the llama.

Kai: If all of you are wondering what the hell llama's are doing in an FMA fan-fic, well my friend and fellow user Gaara'd told me to. And she will kick my ass if I don't, so go figure. Also, fan-fiction user Mortichai, who is also my friend came up with er… the _interesting_ scene that comes up in the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3 Vincent's fun room

Kai: Well, thanks to many supporters, my willpower to continue has been renewed.

Yui: That, and we've been practically inhaling gatorade and chocolate chip cookies for the past 24 hrs.

Kai: That too.

Yui: Oh and by the way! This chapter is the one with the interesting stuff in it! so if you don't enjoy rape and torture, then skip this!

Kai: and vice versa.

Yui: Exactly. And we're thinking about having alternate endings because of the mixed reviews we got for the end.

Kai: for example...

"you should totally bring Ed back through the Gate as a vampire! That would be just...OMG!" (Konaminae Nara)

"the idea to use Post-movie Ed and put him in Trannsylvania with a bunch of vampires is EPIC! and the title..."Blood on the Bedspread"?

sounds smexilicious~" (Atama Ga Kuru Teru)

"What the hells wrong with you? THERE ARE NO LLAMAS IN TRANSYLVANIA!" (Dudefish19 *private message*)

Yui: So we're having alternate endings so that way those of you who don't like the idea of a vampire edward...

Kai: And those of you who do...

Yui: Can co-exist peacefully within our fan-fiction.

~Edward~

Edward awoke in a dark place, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. His body was impossibly sore and he was tied up and gagged. It felt impossibly painful and of course, the sound of water dripping in his cell (his eyes adjusted now) was already driving him crazy.

The cell was an old, stone one that one would imagine would be in an old victorian castle. It smelled like wet moss and mildew, and probably was covered with the stuff. An iron bared window let a pitifully small amount of moonlight in, maybe illuminating half a square foot of floor with silvery light.

His muscles cramping up and his feet falling asleep w/ pins and needles (god dammit!) Edward strained against the think rope that bound him. Focusing every single fiber of his pitifully short body, he stretched and pushed...

And failed. All he succeeded in doing was tipping over and smacking his face into the cold stone floor.

And, spent and tired, lay there tipped over for the rest of the night.

~Vampire Girl (?)~

"Oh craaaaaaap..."

She stood there at the burnt down shell of the Broken Fiddle Inn, the smell of wet ashes in the air. It wasn't raining anymore (for once) but it was still bitterly cold. Not that it mattered to her anyway, since she felt cold ever since she was bitten by "him".

Now there was the pain in the ass with Edward. Edward had been sleeping in his room when it had happened, and the passerby had told her that they had seen him sleeping, but then disappeared. They believed he was the ghost representing all little children, which explained why all the parents had been extra nice to their children today. They thought he appeared to warn them about something.

What a bunch of idiots. I mean, seriously.

She began walking down the street to the other inns, wondering that perhaps he had left and payed for another room...

And noticed the llama wasn't there. Carl had disappeared, which meant one thing...

Vincent. That son of a-

~Edward~

The sunlight was akin to a slap in the face. Painful to the face and totally intrusive. It reminded him of the way Winry slapped him when he slept to much. Sometimes he didn't wake up from that, so she pulled out a wrench...

Urgh. Home. It made him feel sick inside.

"Interesting. And you like this girl?"

Edward jumped, and immediately swore loudly, for much of his body was numb, and it was a shock being suddenly so active. It hurt.

Sitting down casually was a guy who looked like he was about twenty-one years old. Pale skin, but not too pale, with black hair that made him think "If Roy curled his hair...", and blood red eyes. They were chilling and impossibly creepy, especially with the way he was staring at him.

"If it creeps you out, i'll stop." he shrugged and leaned up against the wall. Then he raised his eyebrow. "So, let me ask again, you like abusive girls?"

Edward was sorta annoyed. "Who the hell are you?"

"D:" The guys facial expression revealed annoyance. "I asked first man."

Edward thought, this guy is freaking retarded!

"Thats very insulting."

Edwards jaw dropped open. Was he reading his mind?

"Uh...duh? Of course i'm reading your mind."

"Oh shi-"

~Vampire Girl~

Running through the forest while it was raining gently was very therapeutic. The tree's shade kept it cool, and the rain was lightly massaging her back and neck.

But her mood was far from calm.

Running faster, she could now see the massive, black stone walls of the castle over the tops of the trees. Rooks, massive forms of crows, circled overhead forming a black, feathery halo above.

Knowing Vincent, he had probably "saved" Edward, then kept him prisoner to satisfy his sick hobbies. Such as torture and bondage. She knew him all too well, knowing he probably was preparing his "fun room" already.

She had to hurry. Or Edward may be exposed to things best left alone. Or better yet, left in a safe in a castle underwater with millions of bloodthirsty sharks swarming the place.

~Edward~

The (obviously) vampire guy smiled. "My name is Vincent, Edward. I am a vampire. But you knew that already." he laughed at his really stupid joke. He pulled a tin of candy out and began popping the brightly colored morsels of sugar into his mouth. "I take it you're hungry?"

Edward's stomach rumbled in response.

"Ah, never mind then." Vincent pulled out a vial of reddish liquid. Uncapping it, he held it closer to Edward. A delicious smell wafted out of it.

"Want some blood? It's still warm."

And Edward's world turned upside down. He craved the blood. He NEEDED it.

But he couldn't. He didn't survive all this time just to turn into a filthy, bloodsucking...

"Filthy? Hey, i bathe twice a day." Vincent pouted. He downed the vial's contents in one gulp. Ed's stomach rumbled again.

He grabbed Ed roughly by the head, and smashed his lips on Ed's. Edward's eyes widened in shock as Vincent's tongue invaded his mouth. But before Edward could bite down, Vincent pulled away.

"Mmmm...yummy."

Ed snapped. He had been afraid of Vincent this whole time, but now he had gone too damn far. It reminded him of Envy. Always joking around.

"You F***ing son of a B****!" (censored for your benefit) Edward shouted. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Vincent tilted his head and pretended to think. "Uh...I'm gay?"

"WHHHAAAAAAATTT?"

~Vampire Girl~

The rooks scattered suddenly as a loud "WHHHAAAAAATTT?" erupted from one of the "windows". Recognizing Ed's voice, she ran harder.

As she reached the front gate, she passed the animal pens. A fluffy white llama grazed, looked up, and spat at her. She dodged it with a little "yeep!" of disgust. Continuing on, she pushed open the front gates (preeety bad security Vince. A spitting llama and an unlocked gate?) and ran into the main courtyard.

~Edward~

At least he didn't go down fighting.

Vincent had grabbed him by the braid (ouch) and pulled him kicking and struggling into his "Fun Room". Strapping him to a table, and lighting fires, making the room reeeaaaaly hot, Vincent smiled, and poured some water into a chute. Steam exploded out of it.

Edward realized he was in a giant sauna. Already Edwards initial incurable coldness had faded as the virus became a resident in his body. And now he was sweating. A lot.

WARNING: Sickening torture and sorta rape comes up next. Like OMG WTF? torture. It really is that cruel.

After a little, Vincent came in...WTF? He came in shirtless and sweaty, and he pinned Edward down with his body (not that he needed to, since he was strapped in) and smiled. He stripped Ed (Im not describing that!) , laughing as Ed yelled insults and threats to no avail. Leaning down, Vincent bit into Edwards vein in his neck. It felt like shards of ice and it hurt. A lot. Slurping blood, Ed felt lightheaded again, but Vincent soon stopped.

"I need you awake and screaming." he said, with that sick smile.

Then he pulled a thin, small knife from god-knows-where and began running it down Ed's body, causing very small, but painful lacerations. Edward's sweat dripped down into them, and the saltiness of it caused it to sting even more painfully. It felt as if Ed was burning alive. Without the vampire coldness. Holy hell, it hurt. If hell was a gay pedophile vampire with a bondage torture fetish, that was enough to keep Ed away.

And Ed screamed. He was crying with pain and his tears rolled down and also dripped into his lacerations. All this was bad enough, but add a shirtless guy grinding on you at the same time?

Eeew... but Ed had no choice.

After awhile, Vince put the knife away (again, god-knows-where) and began licking the cuts. The feeling of his slimy tongue all over his body, in every crevasse and fold of skin, it was far worse than the pain, and Ed felt that this was to be his life for the rest of eternity. Praying to god, or to whoever is up there, Ed begged for it to stop.

And for a second, it did. His tongue was gone.

Then Ed was flipped into a pool of insanely cold salt water. The salt, once again, stung his cuts and eyes and the sudden icy coldness shocked his system numb compared to the blazing heat of the "fun room".

Pulling Ed out by his braid (again), Vincent tied him up and gagged him, then put him in a device where Ed could not move. A slow, dripping of water on his forehead began. drip. drip. drip...

Vincent smiled and left. Probably to prepare the next stage of hell.

~Vampire Girl~

She was going to f***ing kill Vincent.

What she thought was a crappy security system was simply an invitation into his fun house. She stood at the beginning of a massive maze. One that, if someone became lost inside, would become Vince's next victims. How horrible. And she wasn't going to be next.

Vaulting up to the top of the wall to the platform where vince patrolled his maze in search for victims, she ran off to the torture cells.

Hearing screams, she hastened her run.

And ran into another maze. This one's walls went up to the ceiling, so she had to go through the hard way. Pulling a stick of dynamite out, she lit it using the torches lighting the way, and hurled it at the wall. Blasting a way to the torture cells, she continued.

~Edward~

The monotony of water dripping on his head was getting to him, and the feeling of a drop of water was slowly becoming painful. Each drop now felt like a marble smacking his head.

~Vincent~

Leaving Edward in the "Chinese Water Torture" device, he heard a loud "BOOOOM!" coming from the second maze. Going into his torture device storage room, he pulled out a black bladed sword and headed off.

He was going to enjoy killing her. Only she would have access to dynamite.

"Oh little sister, you are going to PAY!"

~Vampire Girl~

When she saw Vincent at the entrance to the torture cells, she knew she was screwed.

"Oh little sis, how nice of you to join Edward and I!" Vincent said cheerily. "Are you going to join him at the water activities? Or do you want me to suggest something?"

"You know full well i didn't come to enjoy your "activities" Vince." she said icily. She glared at him.

"Oh i know Katrina, i know very well!" He rushed her with the sword.

Kai: Sorry about the cliffhanger again. But now we introduced Vincent and his sick mindedness.

Vincent: Hey!

Kai: Oops...

Yui: You should run before he can get his hands on some rope.

Kai: Good idea. *runs*

Vincent: *chases*

Yui: *sigh* So Edward is being tortured in ways unimaginable. Katrina's name is finally revealed, and her relationship with Vincent? Whoa, didn't see that coming! Review you guys! that way we can start chapter 4!


	4. Chapter 4 Enter the Llama

Kai: Ahahahahahaha!

Yui: WTF?

Kai: Almost April Fools Day! XD

Yui: It's like, 17 days from now...

Kai: SOOOOO?

Yui: So what are you going to do for AFD? (April Fools Day)

Kai: Ha! I'm gonna, gonna...uh...

Yui: ...

Kai: I don't know exactly.

Yui: ...

Kai: What?

Yui: Aren't you going to tell them about whats up and coming in BOTB? (Blood on the Bedspread)

Kai: Alright. Well, we got a few complaints about how Edward (Elric, not Cullen) is the only official FMA character in our Fan Fiction. So we're sorta having some trouble figuring out how to introduce some new characters. One (incredibly boring and effort wasting) way is to make up a way to get another person through the gate.

Yui: And we're too lazy to do that.

Kai: Right. Despite the Gatorade and cookies, we still don't have the energy to do so. So the other choice we got is to use one of the other two characters that went through the gate. One was already put into chapter 1, so that leave only one person...

Yui: Our favorite little rapist!

Kai: I luv (3) his grin.

Yui: And i luv his outfit.

Kai: *IM NOT GAY* (DX) But anyway, it's Envy!

Yui: Yay!

Kai: So we'll figure out someway to fit him in this...mess we got here.

Yui: Let's recap. Ed's in the water torture device, Katrina and Vince are about to kill each other, Carl's eating grass...Oh and Hohemhiem is screwing around back in Germany.

Kai: Yeah...pretty big mess we have here.

~Edward~

The Water torture's true purpose came clear. The slow, monotony of drops hitting ones forehead eventually caused incredible sensitivity in that area. After being subjected to the damned device for about an hour, Ed's head hurt.

It felt like it was splitting apart. It really did. And despite his screams of agony, nobody came to save him. Nobody responded.

And for once in his life, Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, gave up. He wanted to die. He wanted to just fall limp. Just get him out of here.

~Katrina (And Vincent XD)~

"So, are you here to save your little blonde midget?" Vincent queried.

"From a sick minded idiot like you." she replied, the venom in her voice enough to make a normal man cry for momma. But then again, Vincent wasn't your normal man.

They glared daggers at each other, and slowly circling around. The slightest movement could result in a fierce sword fight.

All of a sudden, "Beeeheeeheeeh!"

Both heads turn slowly, a "WTF?" expression on their faces. Carl the llama stood there, just starring at the two siblings (who, may I mention, where perfectly ready to kill each other just moments before). Carl cocked his head, gazing intently.

Then, he began to morph.

Red sparks crackled, as the hooves became hands and feet, clad in uh...sock-like things with the toes and heel exposed. A long, furry neck became a normal sized, pale skinned one.

And the llama's mouth, normally chewing grass, became a wide, creepy grin.

"Why hello guys! What do we have here?" asked Envy, the last person anyone would expect to appear. (Who knew Envy had a llama fetish?)

"Wha?" asked both vampires.

~Edward~

Edward was crying. The agony was just too much for his little 5 foot 4 inch body (Height measurements obtained from the end of the 2nd volume of the manga) to handle. His body shook with uncontrollable sobs, and the salt dripped into his mouth, making his mouth taste bitter.

This, in Edward's opinion, was hell.

~Katrina, Vincent, and Envy (Who i might add, is a very welcome presence in our fan-fics)~

"SWISH! SLASH! SHAK!"

The loud metal clanging on each other created a loud din as the vampire man fought. But he fought not against each his sister, rather they fought against the pedophile like person before them.

*fifteen minutes ago*

Envy laughed. "Ahh, it's so nice to be back in this wonderfully cute and adorable body again!"

"What hellish creature are you?" Vincent asked, not at all surprised for a moment. I guess being a torture fetish kind of person makes you sorta hard to scare.

"Ha ha! wouldn't you like to know! And you two! Vampires? Blood sucking beasts? You aren't much better than I am." Envy chuckled. "I'm pretty sure little Edward has mentioned us. You know, we're known as *cough* Homunculi."

Katrina gasped. "GASP!" (jokin XP forget that happened) "So your the ones with the philosopher's stone inside them?"

Envy smiled at her, which really is a bad sign. "The one and only!"

Vincent chuckled. "Well, that doesn't make a difference. I'll just have to kill you!"

And he rushed Envy, who stood with his weight on one leg, hands on his hip. "Many have tried, Vince, many have tried."

And he morphed into Ed.

"Many have tried." he repeated in Ed's voice.

Shifting his (fake) automail arm into a blade, he made a mock fighting stance (copied off Ed) and fought.

Katrina was torn between helping Vincent (who was losing) or saving Ed (which was probably suffering some horrible torture).

And so, having decided, bolted down the hall to Edward.

~Edward~

The monotony of water dropping, the piercing pain each time a drop hit, the chilling cold of the water that now soaked his shirt and vest, it all just blended into one big pile of hell.

But something broke that hell. The sound of running footsteps. At first, he thought it was Vincent, coming to tap him on the forehead and make it hurt more, or maybe to rap on the sore spot with a mallet.

But then something else made him think otherwise.

"Edward! Edward! Are you here? Where are you?"

"Is that you?" His voice was a croak.

Katrina (Remember, Ed doesn't know her name yet) ran past the room, backed up slowly, and saw Ed soaked in water. The lacerations had healed with half its vampiric speed, but now Ed's tear-stained face had a large bruise on it, thanks to the slow drip drip drip of the water torture device. She gasped, and Ed broke out in fresh sobs of relief. She had come to save him!

Then a thin, metal spike shot out and pierced her, and Ed gasped. Envy walked in, clutching Vincent's cold, limp body and dragging it into the hallway. Katrina shuddered, the spike impaled in her shoulder.

"Oops, looks like I missed." Envy remarked casually, as if commenting on the weather. Ed noticed Vincent's body had a hole in it where his heart was. Envy had staked him with his arm.

"Where did you come from?" Ed asked in surprise, realizing that an hour ago, there was no Envy.

"I came from a llama." Envy said. He crouched down so that he saw eye-to-eye with Ed, and let go of Vincent's body. It hit the ground with a dull _thump_. Then he stroked Ed's tear stained cheek. Ed, now free of the torture device and numb from the lack of movement, slumped against Envy's warm body. A rush of heat surged through him, and he recalled that he was more sensitive to body heat.

"Why do I always run into you, Edo my pal?" whispered Envy. "Why do I find you blocking my path time and time again? Why do you always throw yourself into danger, regardless of the wishes of your loved ones? _Who. Are. You?_"

Ed coughed a little, and tears broke through again. "I-I-I'm just a boy…."

"A boy huh?" Envy hugged the short little kid. "Do you know how long I've wanted to do this, Ed? How much I've longed to cradle this small, delicate body?" He leaned in closer to Ed's ear. "How much I wanted to rip Vincent's head off for kissing you? I want you to be MINE Ed. Mine, and mine alone."

He lowered Ed so that it was as if a mom were cradling a baby. "Do you want me, Edward Elric? Do you want this inhuman body? Or am I just too evil?"

Ed's mind was just too clogged up to think, so he just whispered "uh-huh…."

But Ed's mind wasn't clogged for long.

Envy leaned down, and kissed Ed gently, his tongue sliding into Ed's lips, and intertwining with Ed's. He angled his head, trying to reach in further into Ed's mouth.

Then he withdrew.

Ed was so shocked, he could not react for a good five minutes. But as much as he would like to burst into "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU FREAKING SICKO!" he was simply too tired. So he slumped, and passed out.

And Envy sat there, playing with Ed's hair, not unlike a little girl playing with a doll.

Kai: !

Yui: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Envy: Shut up!

Ed: What's wrong with you two?

Vincent: I'm dead….. DX

Kai: Anyway, this is the part where he split it up into alternate endings, and I will say that in one of them, Vincent comes back and teams up with Envy.

Yui: I'm very surprised Envy turned out to be so gentle. He's so adorable.

Kai: I'm surprised it worked out so well.


	5. Chapter 5 Envy's Fantasy

Kai: Well, here i am again. Im stuck here, w/o Yui for a couple hours and i am going to type up chapter 5. I can do this!

Or not... sigh...

Envy: Yes you can. I want you to let me rape Ed. *haha*

Ed: WHHAAAAAATT?

Vincent: Not again.

Kai: Calm down guys. I got the idea already. And despite saying we were gonna split the story up into alternate endings, i've decided not to do that juuuuuust yet.

Envy, Ed and Vince: WWHHAAAAAATT?

Kai:*sigh* ohmigod guys. Really. Stop doing that. Now i have to get started. *turns on A7x reeeeaaaaly loud* before Atama Ga Kuru Teru feeds meh to her army of rabid sporks.

Envy: That's a good thing!

Kai: *glares* what did you say?

Envy: Erm...nuthin...

CHAPTER 5 START! (yay!)

~Envy & Ed~

"siiiigggghhhhh..."

Envy sat there, Edward slumped in his arms, cradling the poor, harassed boy. Envy was tired too, but honestly, he was just sooooooo happy that he got his wish. He got his little Ed! An adorable smile (if i say so myself) plastered on his face, Envy rocked the little blond boy. Then realizing something, he stopped.

Edward's body was stone cold. So cold that Envy's arms were becoming numb.

Envy's (cute) smile turned to a scowl. "What did they do to you Ed? Who did this? Who do i have to kill?" his voice going higher and higher until he was practically screaming in Ed's face. Edward shifted slightly, his small body fitting perfectly into the curve of Envy's chest. Apparently, it was very comfortable.

"They bit you, didn't they Ed?" Envy asked the unconscious boy. "They bit you because they wanted your beautiful, red blood. But they can't have it. It's mine. All mine! I swear, if i have to cut them open and drain them of their blood to get it out of them, i will!" Then realizing this wasn't getting anywhere, Envy sighed, picked up the boy in a bride-being-carried-by-her-new-husband pose, Edward being the bride.

Envy planted a kiss on Ed's forehead (already healed), and stepped out of the dungeon, leaving the bodies of the two vampires.

~Katrina~

Laying face down on the cold, stone floor. The dim light flickering from the torches reflected off the blood pooling around Vincent's dead body.

Of course that, that, thing, would know how to kill Vincent. Vincent had owned Carl for quite a long time, long enough for "Envy" to pick up on the strengths and weaknesses of Vampire kind.

Footsteps coming this way alerted her to the arrival of someone. Leaping to her feet, she immediately twitched in pain because she forgot she was impaled in the shoulder. It was healing with vampiric speed, yes, but still...ouch...

She picked up the sword Vincent had in his hands and readied herself to launch herself at whoever was there, whether it was that Envy thing, or something else.

But when the person stepped into the light, she dropped the sword and gasped in surprise.

"F-F-Father?"

~Edward~

"Urgh...aw man..."

Edward awoke groaning in bed, his arm's stiff and aching. He wondered where he was. He was in a full-sized bed with clean white sheets, and there was a fireplace blazing in the corner, and a few sofas and armchairs surrounding a table, where there was a handmade wooden chess set.

Edward yawned, his eyes setting on a picture of some still life of a city. The city looked very familiar, a large arch reading...

Edward's heart skipped a beat. Or two.

"Rush Valley".

Then Ed's heart practically stopped when he heard a voice that sounded all too familiar.

"Yes Edward, that is a picture of our home." And there he was, curled up in one of the armchairs, idly playing with the black knight chess piece, starring at him with clear purple cat-like eyes. The bane of his life, the one who screwed his life up over and over...

Envy.

~Envy~

The sight of his little Eddikins (Lol thanks for the word Atama) waking from a day's sleep just made him all warm inside. The kind of warm that made him want to rush over to Ed and throw his arms around him and smash his lips on his. But he smothered his urges (however hard that may be) and waited.

When Ed noticed him, he smiled. "Why do you look so surprised Edward? You know you were bound to run into me someway or another."

Edward gulped. "What do you want with me?"

Envy smiled, restraining to burst out with his dream. "Oh, just a little companionship, thats all. I mean, your the only one i can talk about good old home with."

Edward scowled. "You have no idea how much i doubt that."

Envy got up, and strode over to the bed. Edward withdrew, until he was pressed up against the bed frame. As Envy began climbing onto the end of the bed, Edward cried out "Stop! No! Please!"

But then Envy was on top of him. Embracing Edward, he held him tight until Ed stopped thrashing desperately.

"Shhhh... calm down now, my sweet... don't hurt yourself now, because i won't hurt you." Envy crooned as he stroked Edward's hair. Edward struggled a little bit, and then gave up in desperation. Cuddling with his little boy, Envy smiled into Ed's hair. He rubbed his cheek onto Ed's, making the poor boy close his eyes tight, begging for him to stop.

But he couldn't hide his blush. Or his uh...hardening. Envy noticed, and grinned. "Awww Edward, is this making you feel happy?"

"No!" Edward burst, but he shuddered as Envy ran his hand along Edward's leg.

Cupping Ed's chin in his hand, he tilted Ed's face up and they kissed. Edward's suppressed emotions burst out in a torrent of lust. Both angling their heads to admit the other deeper into their throat.

Then Envy pulled back, smirking. "Oh, so now you want me? That is very cruel." He stroked Ed's neck, causing Ed to whimper for more. Both were breathing heavily due to the exhilaration.

WARNING: FLUFF OR LEMON OR WHATEVER THEY CALL IT IS COMING UP NEXT. LMAO IT IS VERY CLEAN SORTA.

Envy got on top of Ed, sliding his hand down Ed's pants, causing the short little kid's eyes to widen in surprise and fear. Grabbing the shaft of the ***** he began stroking slowly, sliding his other hand up Ed's shirt at the same time.

Ed attempted to resist. And failed, ending up moaning and trembling with pleasure. Envy licked Ed's ear, and Ed giggled.

"So, do you want me to go faster?" Envy asked, before being replied with a very enthusiastic "YES! PLEASE!"

Moving his hand faster, Envy repositioned Edward and himself so that Ed was lying on his back with his legs spread open, and Envy on top. Both made out many, many times. Then Envy slit Ed's arm, causing the blood to drip onto the bedspread. Licking it up eagerly, Envy closed his eyes in ecstasy.

All while the rain poured down.

~?~

Upon stepping into the hallway of the dungeons where his sick minded son did his "hobby", the first thing he noticed was his son's unmoving body slumped on the floor bleeding.

The second thing was his daughter preparing to lunge at him. But upon seeing him, she dropped the weapon in her hands.

"F-F-Father?"

Kai: Ahahaha that was soooo weird typing Yaoi. I mean, weird! And Yui came in while i was typing it and read it over my shoulders and whacked me.

Yui: And you say im sick minded.

Kai: You are! you were blushing!

Yui: LIES!

Envy: Yay! i get Edward!

Edward: :O

Vincent: ...i'm still dead...YOU SAID I'D COME BACK!

Kai: Calm down. You do. Later.

Yui: Let's do a "Edward in Wonderland" story next.

Kai: Hell yeah! and this and that...

Kai and Yui: *murmur*

Everyone else: WTF...


	6. Chapter 6 Sailboats and Chess Pieces

Kai: Sorry about the long wait for the 6th chapter. We got er...busy with spring break.

Yui: 3 movies and an amusement park. Holy crap.

Envy: I had fun!

Ed: He raped me...

Vincent: I hasa big plushy tiger!

Kai: As you can see, they had fun.

Yui: Big roller-coasters are scary.

Kai: And you hugged me to death.

Yui: Because i was scarred!

Kai: And soooooo?

STORY START

~Envy & Edward (our little couple!)~

Edward awoke, surrounded by soft, smooth warmth all around him. Incredibly comfortable, Edward's eyes were closed as he snuggled up into the blanket.

Or at least what he thought was a blanket.

Ed opened his eyes, to find his face rubbed up against a sleek, black fabric. It was warm, and firm, and had light muscle underneath. Edward embraced it, and rubbed his cheek on it. So comfy...

"Uh...I knew you liked me, but this is a little much?"

Edward pulled away at the speed of light. Envy lay on his side, grinning (like always). Edward realized that he was snuggling up to Envy's chest.

Like, Eew... But Ed felt an urge to just forget his inhibitions and do it again, regardless of his dignity (or at least whatever he had of it left).

Envy guessed what he was thinking, and smiled, instead of grinning. Envy wrapped his arms around Ed and pulled him closer, holding Ed's head against his chest, where Ed heard and felt his heart beating. Bmp-bmp...bmp-bmp...

Edward nestled in Envy's embrace, and felt truly at peace with the one he thought he'd never feel any positivity from.

Envy smiled to himself into Edward's golden hair. It smelled fragrant , like roses. As Envy's eyelids began to feel heavy, he noticed a blood stain on the clean white bedspread from last night. That night was filled with passion and lust, and it felt just perfect. Absolutely perfect.

And the unlikely couple fell asleep in the dim, gray light of the morning.

~Katrina and ?~

The man sat down on a chair, but leapt off as it snapped down with bone breaking force. Ah the things his son collected...

His daughter stood there starring at him, glaring at him. He sighed. She hadn't forgiven him yet.

"What do you want old man?" She spat, eyes glittering with a burning desire to walk up to him and swack him.

He perched cautiously on a wooden stool. Raising an eyebrow, he asked "What do you mean? Am i not allowed to enjoy time with my beloved daughter?"

"No" the answer was quick and immediate. She turned around and knelt down next to the still body of Vincent, which was still lying in it's usual pool of blood. Vincent's black hair was soaked with blood, turning it into a strange shade of brown. She had the beginnings of tears in her eyes, the salty liquid glimmering like diamonds. She stroked his back, caressing his spine.

"So Vincent is dead, and the mortal boy is in the hands of another inhuman creature?" He inquired. She didn't reply, but he attempted a mental probe to her mind.

Her resistance was an imaginary iron wall. Completely unpenetrable. He sighed.

"Look, i know what i did all those years ago. And i'm sorry for it. Do you forgive me?"

She stood up, strode over to him and slapped him hard across the face. His head flew back, almost touching his spine. He slowly returned it back to it's normal position, and then quickly jerked it side to side, cracking the joints in his neck. He rubbed his neck. "ouch..."

She clenched her fists. "I can't forgive you. Not after what you did then. You knew i cared about him, but you still, you still..." she trailed off into darkness.

He reached up and caressed her cheek. "I know, I know i still fed on him, and killed him. I killed your poor Edward. But now you have another Edward. You have to save him Katrina. You know you do."

She collapsed into his arms, and sobbed on his shoulder. He hugged her tight, and vowed to do anything to make her daughter happy.

Vincent's body suddenly twitched, and then spasmed, convulsing and writhing. And then...

Schlock!

Blood spewed everywhere, bursting forth from his body. Katrina and her father were shielded by the latter's cloak, which, upon impact, hardened like steel to form a wall between them and the torrent of blood.

Vincent moaned, attempting to sit up. He collapsed, weak from lack of blood. Vincent had purged himself of all damaged and nutrient deficient blood, reviving him for a short time. But unless he took in some fresh blood soon, he would die again.

Katrina and her father, realizing this, looked around wildly for a source of blood.

A llama padded into the corridor, chewing grass. Apparently it had gotten stuck in the maze and had finally escaped.

Vincent glanced up and saw it. "Oh, so thats where you went Paul. What excellent timing."

~Envy and Edward~

"Knight to D6"

Envy moved the black chess piece to its spot. He saw a potential to take Edward's queen by forking it with the king. In check, Edward would be forced to move the king and the queen would be dead.

Edward rubbed his forehead in concentration. "Pawn to E7"

Envy chuckled to himself at Edwards feeble attempt to take his knight. The white pawn may have the ability to take the knight, but it was a turn too late.

"Knight to C3. Check" Envy grinned at Edward's position. Without his queen, Edward would be crushed. But then something was wrong. Edward didn't seem fazed by the threat of losing his queen. In fact...

Edward was smiling.

"Bishop to C3"

"WHHHAAAAATTTT?" Evny exclaimed. He was so focused on the fork, he didn't notice the bishop on the other side of the board, the one that was previously blocked by the pawn Edward had moved. The pawn wasn't to take the knight, it was to let the bishop take it!

"And i believe that is checkmate." Edward remarked, examining the board. Edward smiled wider. "So that makes the score 1-6, in my favor?"

Envy smiled, trying to retain what pride he had left. "Yeah, mmkay, i get it. You kick but at chess. And checkers. And poker."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Don't forget blackjack."

Envy rolled his eyes. "So now what? Do you want to go shopping or something? Maybe buy a new hair tie for your braid perhaps?"

Edward frowned at the shot at his manliness. "I don't know. Maybe we could explore Vincent's castle. Vincent is dead now. And Katrina..." He felt his heart shatter. She had cared for him.

Envy opened his mouth to reply, but then was interrupted by loud knocking at the small house, which lay at the edge of a lake. Envy transformed into a young, Romanian man. He walked over to the door and opened it.

"Good evening sir!" a boy was at the door. "Would you like to purchase a small boat for pleasure sailing on this fine lake?"

Envy turned his head to look at Edward. "Looks like that question is answered."

*An hour later*

"Ahhh..." Envy sighed, lounging on the chair on deck, the gentle waves of the lake making the boat rock gently.

Edward sat on the prow of the small sailing ship, fishing rod in hand, at a vain attempt to catch something for dinner later. It was about 2 in the afternoon, and the sky was a bright blue for once.

The boat was about 100 meters from the shore, bobbing gently. The sun was shining brightly, but not too bright to hurt ones eyes. Envy was grateful, because they did not have sunglasses.

Envy had also a cannon on the ship, which he stole (among other things) from Vincent's castle. It was a ship, why not have a cannon?

Edward suddenly hooked a large fish and almost toppled overboard. Wrestling the fish out of the water, the massive steelhead flopped on the deck. Envy cheered from his spot on his chair, while Edward attempted to clean and gut the massive thing.

Later, as the sun set and the sun blazed red, Envy and Edward were happily enjoying dinner and root beer (Don't ask.) watching the sun set. Envy put his hand on Edward's leg, and then laughed when he saw how red Ed blushed. Almost as red as the sky.

Then at night, the boat was so small it had only one room below deck with one bed. They shared it, embracing in the dark, cuddling with each other.

They were totally unaware of the figure climbing onto the boat, knife clenched in his mouth, and sword at his belt.

CHAPTER END

Kai: Poor Envy. His fantasy is about to end.

Yui: I feel so bad ending it. It's so sweet.

Envy: Wait, what?

Kai: Nuuuuuuuthin.


	7. Chapter 7 The Problems With Teenagers

Kai: So Spring Break is over. Let's see the weeks highlights shall we?

Yui: A couple chapters posted in "Edward in Wonderland" (Our Full Metal Alchemist and Heart No Kuni No Alice crossover that is listed as a FMA story) and "Blood on the Bedspread". A new ipod touch and a number of stuffed animals (Authors note: When we were typing "animals" we accidently typed "analmals". Just to let you know how stupid we are)

Kai: We're working on a blog for you guys. You know, why not?

Yui: It's gonna be amazing. We'll have a suggestion page where you can suggest new parts of chapters and a page where we sorta give you teasers.

Kai: It's .com. Amazing crap. The huge picture was a mistake, so keep scrolling down.

Yui: Enough with the blog! Type the damn chapter already!

Kai: Oh and remember to suggest our fan fics to others. BEcause we realized eventually nobody's gonna read it because of the wave of new ones 0.0.

CHAPTER START!

~Edward and Envy~

"Snooooore..."

"Dude, shut up."

"Snork..."

"If you don't stop snoring, ima whack you."

"Snurrrrk..."

WHACK!

Envy flipped off his bunk on the boat with a thud, dazed by the blow to his head by Ed, who was VERY tired.

"What the hell?" Envy scowled, clutching his cheek. "That fucking HURT."

Ed glared. "I told you to stop snoring! But no, you didn't. So thats what you get."

Envy's mouth dropped open. "Are you fucking retarded shortie? I was ASLEEP. I can't hear shit in my sleep."

"DON'T CALL ME SHORT!"

Envy sighed, and climbed into his bunk. "Fine, i won't snore. Buuut..."

SWACK!

"OUCH WTF?"

"Hahahaha revenge!" Envy leapt into his bunk and hit his knee on the wooden frame of the bunk. Swearing up a storm, he curled on his bunk rocking back and forth. Ed peered up at him.

"fuuuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck shit holy fuck god fuck damn..." Envy muttered, clutching his bruised knee. Edward climbed onto his bunk.

"Uh...are you okay?" Edward asked, looking at the large purple bruise. He began to massage the area around it, making Envy shiver a little. "Yeah, im fine."

Envy wrapped his arms around Ed and pulled him closer. Edward curled up into Envy's embrace and they cuddled together. Nuzzling Ed's hair, Envy murmured "I fucking love you." Ed looked up at the pale skinned person. "You do?" Ed asked, attempting to stop his voice from wavering. He failed.

Envy played with Ed's long, golden hair. "Oh of course i luf yu..." Envy teased. "But unfortunately your not sexy enough so im gonna dump you overboard now..."

"WHAAAAAT?"

"Joking. Shut up and let's go to sleep."

They lay down, embracing each other and cuddling for warmth in the cold of the lakes air.

A floorboard creaked. Then another. And another.

"Now who could that be?" asked Ed. Envy sat up. Pointing his arm at the door, he transformed it into a harpoon gun. A mischievous grin was on his face. "Hahaha we'll soon find out!"

A floorboard creaked right outside the door and-

PFFFT! THOCK!

The harpoon slammed right through the door, and embedded itself inside something outside the room. Blood splurted out from the hole that Envy created, and a man screamed.

"Envy!" Ed screamed. "He could have been nice!"

Envy rolled his eyes. "Of course. Some happy man came to deliver us pancakes at 2 in the morning by sneaking up onto our boat with a gun and a knife." He gestured to the weapons that lay on the floor of the now bloody, boat. Ed stuck his tounge out at Envy. "Okay okay smart ass."

Then, the whole boat blew apart.

Wood flew everywhere and Envy grabbed Edward at the last moment, transforming so that he could cover Ed's body and shield it from harm. Debris, scrapped wood and chunks of metal ripped into Envy's body, which made the bruise on his knee totally feel meaningless.

They both fell into the lake, one with blood pouring from his body, the other unconscious. The splash they made created a ripple effect, and they disappeared from view.

~?~

"Holy crap that was AMAZING!"

A bunch of teenagers laughed at the ship they just blew up. It was obviously deserted since it hadn't moved at ALL all day. Chunks of crap fell into the lake, splashing and such. The teens were rolling on the ground, laughing their asses off. All but one.

"Uh...guys, i think, i think there was someone on that ship." A young man of maybe 18 years of age peered out at the lake, viewing the wreckage. "I think i saw bodies."

"Bodies? Don't joke like like that Johnathan." One of the boys said. "That ship hasn't moves all day! There can't possibly be anybody on that shi-"

"Look! Look over there!"

One of the teens had sprung to his feet and began yelling and pointing at the body floating in the water. The body's blonde hair was flowing all around him, and his limbs drifted around.

All the teens faces turned white. One of them immediately began stuttering and gasping for breath. Another screamed and ran from the spot.

Johnathan's mouth dropped open. He stumbled to the floating body and splashed into the lake. "Oh my god, are you okay? Answer me! Guys! help me out!"

Suddenly, he screamed and was pulled violently, thrashing and struggling, under the surface. Bubbles floated to the surface, and then ceased altogether.

"Oh my god, Johnathan? Johnathan! This isn't funny! John? JOHN!"

Then, the body of Johnathan Sergui floated to the surface, pierced and dead, eyes blank. Blood pooled around his body, and his arms were bent in strange angles.

Then, the blond boy moved.

"Blurbbb..." he gurgled into the water. Then he lifted his head and gasped: "Save youselves! The beast will get you! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"

Then the boy was grasped by a massive, snake-like tentacle and pulled under. Like John, he thrashed wildly and screamed, but to no avail. The blond boy was pulled under, bubbles popping at the surface.

Not long after, the teenagers fled, screaming into the night.

~Edward~

Edward exploded from the lake, stumbling onto the beach. Collapsing from lack of air, he gasped, and his chest heaved for oxygen. His body was throughly soaked, and his long, luscious blond hair clung to his back and shoulders. He fell flat on his face, and mumbled something.

Something splashed from where he came. He could hear the trudging steps on the sand, the dragging of limbs. Whatever had grabbed him from underneath could walk on land and was coming for him.

He turned over onto his back, heaving and wheezing. The thing loomed over him and...

"Hello Envy." Edward gasped out. "How are you?"

Envy smiled. He reverted his arms back to their normal form from the thick black tentacles that he had used to trick the stupid bastards that destroyed their boat. "I think i have water in my chest."

The pale, smexy dude slumped onto Ed. Edward coughed from the impact, but then he smiled and embraced Envy. He played with the long black/green hair. Envy wheezed, face on Ed's chest.

"I don't think we had to kill Johnathan though." Ed remarked. Envy shrugged, which looked weird lying on his face. He mumbled something into Ed's soaked coat. Edward made a "Wha?" sound and Envy turned his head so his cheek rested on Ed. "It was necessary. Now those brats won't come back here and blow up our next boat."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Next boat? Where are we getting another boat? We spent all our cash on the first one."

Envy grinned, "That's why god created robbery."

STORY END


	8. Chapter 8 Gay Vampire Revenge & Robbery

Kai: Hey everyone, sorry about the long period of us not updating anything. We had uh…..internal problems. Not between us, but with other people we knew.

Yui: It was a pain in the ass.

Kai: And so now im in a bad mood so everything is going down south. I hope you guys are ready for some serious disappointment, because the shit is gonna hit the fan, FYI.

Yui: Oh and remember our blog, .com. It's there for you guys to suggest stuff and such, and sometime later we'll setup a chat room where you guys can talk to us in person if we're on, or talk to other readers.

Kai: Alright! Screw all this lets get started!

STORY START!

~Edward~

The night was cold and bitting, and since he hadn't dried off yet, he was sure to get hypothermia if it weren't for his vampiric coldness. Wind blew, making his already cold, dead flesh even colder, and he was tempted to just randomly hug a person to get warm. But then he'd get tempted to bite them and drink their blood, and that was getting worse each day.

The large amount of people milling around in Transylvania this evening wasn't helping. It was some festival, something about celebrating the death of some weirdo named Vlad. Oh well, who cared.

Envy was back at the dock, waiting for Ed to bring the necessary items to pull off the robbery. He also was next to a fire, which made Edward feel like running back there and whacking him upside the head for making him feel worse.

The large, imposing bank now dominated his view. It was large and built of stone, and had 6 guards that he could see on the ground, and a further 4 on the roof, armed with rifles. That was sure to be fun.

Ed shouldered his way in through the mass of people withdrawing money and depositing a part of their weekly wages. The guards eyed him coldly, and then continued to scan the rest of the crowd. Edward's hand traced down to his belt, where the revolver was tucked.

Envy was sure to be here by now, and undoubtedly Edward could begin. He hoped Envy was already here, because if not, the plan would fail.

Edward raised the gun, and fired.

~Envy~

Things were not going to plan.

The plan was to have Edward go into the bank and cause a commotion, while Envy got in and robbed the place as Edward was arrested. Timing was crucial, and if timed right, Envy would kill the constables arresting Ed and they'd escape. Then they'd buy a boat and get out of here.

However, as Envy rushed to the bank transformed as a young woman, and group of rapists (no doubt) surrounded him. Grabbing him and groping him, they tried to get him to come with them.

Yeah right. He kicked their asses.

After that, things all went downhill.

Just as he was done killing the last of the rapists, something flittered from the corner of his eye, and he was knocked to the ground. Leaping to his feet, he managed to get out a "What the fu-" before he was punched in the gut with supernatural strength. Curling up, he gasped for air as he was grabbed by the hair and pulled to his feet, where he was punched in the face. Knocked back a good five feet, the homunculus slammed into the brick wall of a tavern, dazed.

Disoriented and dizzy, he gasped as he saw who his assailant was.

"Well now, I believe it is time to pay back some favors." Vincent sneered, cracking knuckles and unsheathing a long dagger. He smiled and slashed Envy across the face, a long cut marring his face. Envy reverted to his normal form, clutching his face and bleeding, the red liquid dripping from his face.

Vincent crouched down and caught a drop on his white gloved finger. Licking it up, he smirked, trailing his tongue along his finger and savoring the taste of the blood.

~Edward~

Things were not going to plan.

Immediately, screams and panic erupted from the crowd, jostling him and warming him up with their body heat. He could clearly see the thin, blue vein running down the human necks that mobbed around him in panic. Once, he almost bit down as one came within inches of his neck.

Then the guards struggled to re-instate order within the bank, but failed, becoming victims of mob panic and trampling feet as they attempted to restrain the crowd. Some people took advantage and picked the pockets of unsuspecting people, however, Ed had nothing in his pockets and so he had nothing to worry about.

A little girl accidently hugged him, thinking he was her mother. The sudden surge of heat warmed him, er…..places near his legs….As she looked up, she noticed and apologized. Behind her, a large, barrel chested man was about to collide with her.

Impulsively, Edward swept the little girl in his arms, and spun to lessen the impact of the massive man smashing into him. Quickly regaining his balance, he made his way to the corner of the room, where the mobbing was less violent with the girl in his arms.

He hugged his chest, scared of the large group of angry and panicked people. She cried and buried her face in his shirt, sobbing and soaking his shirt with warm, wet tears.

Cradling her intoxicatingly warm body closer, comforting her, Edward felt like a mother. Protective, alert, and incredibly short fused (Not that he already was). She sobbed, crying till her tear ducts dried out. Then she silently sobbed as the mob continued. Eventually, the police arrived and re-instated order, and the people cleared out. Edward wondered about what was wrong with Envy, and what took him so long. The plan failed, so Ed decided to stay there with the girl, to protect her till her mother came.

But no mother came.

Edward waited patiently, as the girl hugged him tight around the waist, nuzzling his shirt. Eventually, she began to speak.

"Uh….If you're waiting for my mother, I just wanted to tell you, I don't have one." She shyly squeaked.

"You don't have a mother?" Ed asked in surprised. "Then why are you here?"

She looked at her feet in embarrassment. "I came to pick pockets. But I got scared."

Edward sighed. Why did he always attract the evil and malicious? "So you're homeless?"

She looked at him with wide eyes. "uhh…yeah"

Edward noticed clean hair and clothes, and the faint smell of lavender.

"Don't lieee…." He teased. "your all clean!" he poked her stomach. She giggled, her shiny blond hair shaking slightly.

"I bathe in the lake not far from here." She said, smiling. I saw a burning boat the other day too, and screams."

Edwards stomach lurched a little. "uh….yeah, that was our boat." He said sheepishly.

"really?" she asked. "Then can I live with you? I always wanted to live on a boat…" she trailed off dreamily.

Ed smiled. "Ill have to ask my friend, but you might. C'mon, lets go look for him." They left the bank together, unaware of the eyes watching them from the shadows.

~Envy~

"Oommphh!"

Doubling over in pain from the seventh blow to the stomach in a row, Envy retreated deeper into the alley. For some reason, Vincent seemed much stronger than before, quicker, more agile. He blocked Envy's kicks, dodged his long range attacks, and delivered quick counterattacks to his stomach, and slashed at him with that dagger.

Back flipping and vaulting over a stone wall, Envy dodged Vincents blade, then twisted in midair to avoid the shuriken he hurled. One of them met their mark and buried itself in his arm, causing him to cry out in pain and mess up his landing, crashing and tumbling into the ground.

Vincent strode up to him, and kicked him hard in the ribs. Envy tumbled over in pain and felt a rib crack. Red sparks crackled as his philosophers stone healed the wound.

"You're pathetic." Vincent spat out. "Saving that infected cold boy. Then what? The craving will consume him and he wont be human. Nobody has ever survived it alive. Even if you bind him with chain or seal him in a room, he'll go insane and die or break free. You will never save him!" Smashing his foot in Envy's face, he snarled. "You'll die, right here, right now!" He raised his knife.

Blue light flashed briefly at the end of the alleyway, causing Vincent to hesitate. A series of metal chain suddenly shot out and bound the knife, disabling it and stopping Vincent from moving his arm.

"What the fuck?" he started, but then let go of the knife and tore out of the chains as a number of spears shot out at him, narrowly missing him.

Edward stood at the end of the alleyway, a determined look to his face.

"Well well well! If it isn't shortie boy and sidekick!" he exclaimed, noticing the girl clinging to Edwards coat. Edward scowled.

"DON'T CALL ME LITTLE!" claping his hands and slapping them onto the stone walls, a blue glow emitted, and then stone crosses with spikes for tips erupted from the ground hurtling towards Vincent. Vincent nimbly dodged them, and his red vampiric eyes narrowed.

"Really Edo boy? Do you really think you can stop me with your hocus pocus magic tricks? DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH?" his voice raised to a shout at the end. Unsheathing a long saber, Vincent rushed at Ed with vampiric speed, in other words, so fast he was a blur similar to that of a car going 120 miles per hour speeding past you.

Edward waited, then ducked to avoid the swipe of the longsword. Bad idea, Vincent's other hand thrusted out into his throat, slamming him against a wall of the alley. Envy cried out from his position on the ground, bleeding and slowly regenerating. The travel through the gate weakened his regeneration tremendously, causing him to be able to heal faster, but suffer pain still. The girl was backed up against the wall, trembling in terror.

Vincent leaned in close, whispering softly in Edwards ear. His body was rubbing up close to Eds, and Edward shivered. He remembered Vincent was gay. He recalled that one sentence: "Uhhhh…..Im gay?". He almost smiled, till he remembered Vincent was about to kill him.

"You will not revert to human form my friend." He whispered, "You will turn into one of us, whether you like it or not. I don't know why Katrina wants to help you, but it ends here."

And he thrust the blade into Edwards gut.

CHAPTER END

Kai: O.o Edwards gonna dieee!

Yui: Game over!

Kai: But this isn't the end!

Ed: I just DIED.

Envy: hahaha im still alive XD

Kai: Now now lets not bicker.


	9. Chapter 9 Vincent

Kai: Ahhh...Sun! *runs in circles*

Yui: -.- dumbass

Kai: *mischievous grin* Hey yui...I have a surprise for chu...

Yui: *looks up from manga* huh? What?

Kai: *pulls out water gun and shoots* GOTCHA! XD

Yui: *throws manga behind self to avoid getting it wet* Ack! Stop! *runs*

Kai: *chases* hahahahahaha!

And so, seeing summer is coming up reeeeaaal quick, We've been slacking off and playing around outside, because the weather is just so awesome. So sorreh if we dont update.

CHAPTER START! XD

~Edward~

SPPPLLUUURRTTT!

Edward spewed blood from his mouth, impaled in the stomach by Vincent. Hands at the blade, eyes wide, Edward could feel his vision blacken. Vincent chuckled.

"So pathetic. You will be one of us, whether you like it or not. That girl." He gestured to the trembling child in the corner with his spare hand, "will be your downfall." he smirked. "it's so sad...children always attract vampirisism much more potently than anything else...perhaps you will eat her?" He grinned, and deftly, twisted the sabre and blood gushed out. And Edward passed out.

~Envy~

"NOOOOOO!"

Envy screamed as he saw Ed slump forward and fall to the ground as Vincent pulled his blade free of Edwards stomach. Ed first fell to his knees, then fell facefirst to the ground. Blood pooled from his cadaver.

Envy got up and rushed Vincent in berserk rage. How? How could he kill such a sweet boy? HOW? He swung hard at Vincent's head, blind in anger and not thinking correctly. Vincent ducked, then rammed Envy in the chest, causing the latter to fall to the ground. Vince then stepped forward and, quick as thought, thrust the blade straight into Envy's chest.

The same blood splurting, the same wide eyed, shocked expression. But this time, red sparks flew as his body rebuilt itself, bit by bit. Envy slammed his palm on the cobblestone alley floor, trying to get up. But a leather boot slamming into the small of his back forced him down again.

"Stay down" Vincent threatened coldly. "You precious midget still lives."

Envy froze. Ed was still alive? Vincent smirked.

"Yes, he still lives. Vampirisism helps in that department. Buuuuut..." Vincent turned on his heel and strode toward the girl. "You cant have him. I still wanna have some FUN with this little blondie." The girl backed up into the corner, as Vincent came ever closer. Then, doing a "punt-a-football-across-the-field" kick to the girls stomach, he knocked her out. Slinging her over his shoulder, he strode to Ed's body to find Envy dragged himself across the floor to get to Ed's bloodstained body.

"E-e-ed...noooo..." Envy croaked. Stroking his silky blonde hair, Envy had tears building up. Whats wrong with me? Envy asked himself. I'm ENVY, the sexy badass homunculus. Im not supposed to cry...

But he couldnt help himself. Edward was too precious to him. Envy would stalk the little boy, just to see him sleep at night, his hair unbraided, sleeping peacefully. He'd stroke his cheek, and kiss his forehead. He'd bother Dante to let him follow the boy, to fight him just to see that determined face he had, to see him move. It broke his heart when he struck Ed, made him bleed. And when he killed him...he killed him...

Vincent rolled his eyes and kicked Envy in the face. Slinging Ed across his shoulders with the girl, he sneered.

"Pathetic" he spat. And he turned, and disapeared into the shadow, swallowed by the darkness.

~Katrina~

She was gonna fucking kill that mother fucker.

Vincent, after being resurrected with Paul's blood, gained Fathers blessing, enhancing his abilities to an extreme extent.

And then the bastard LEFT. To create his own plan no doubt.

And with the blessing of father, she couldnt find him. Let alone catch the bastard.

And of course, to make her even more pissed, Father left as well. She was on her own. Sighing, she pulled her cloak tighter around herself and set off along the labyrinth of alleyways and streets that made up Transylvania.

~Edward~

"uuuhhhhh..." Edward moaned. He had a seriously bad stomach cramp and it hurt like a BITCH. He turned over, shifting to make it feel better.

"Hey? Are you awake?" a small child was shaking him, a worried tone in her voice. The girl. What was she doing here?

Edward sat up and moaned. "I feel like i was hit by a truck."

The girl looked confused. "Whats a truck?"

Edward sighed. "nevermind. Where are we?"

It was a circular prison cell, barred windows allowing flittering light to flow into the cell. A few small bunks lined the wall, and there was a small table and chairs with some mutton and bread on it.

And of course, to make everything worse, Vincent saw there, perched in one of the chairs, grinning like an idiot.

CHAPTER END

Kai: Well, thats gonna suck...

Yui: NO DUH. You made them get split up!

Envy: ED! *cries in corner*

Ed: ENVY! *cries in prison cell*

Kai and Yui: :O


	10. Chapter 10 Edward's Hunger and MrKnife?

Kai: Hi hi! What's up everyone? Sorry for the lack of updates for "Blood on the Bedspread". We were working on our one-shot, "Origin of Envy".

Yui: It's about Envy, BEFORE he became a homunculus.

Kai: Yup. It's that awesome. And it's rated T for once, so yeah.

Yui: We had to cut back. We felt we had too much lemon/fluff in our stuff. You know, incriminating evidence.

Kai: What? Wait, how was it incriminating?

Yui: If mum or dad found out…..

Kai & Yui: **shiver**

Kai: So, enough of our crap talking, time to begin the new chapter!

CHAPTER START :D

~Edward~

"Not you, no, not you again…." Ed sighed. He face palmed and shook his head back and forth. "No no no no no no no no no no no…."

Vincent just sat there and smiled, drinking his tea like the badass vampire he was. "What's wrong Edward? Aren't you glad to see your favorite homosexual vampire friend?"

"NO! One, you are NOT my friend. Two, I am a homophobe. GTFAFM. (Get the f*** away from me) Three, I AM NOT GLAD."

Vincent pouted. "Aww….that hurts my feelings. I wanna be your friend. You see, I've always wanted a little midget friend…."

Edward charged at him, only to be restrained by the chains binding his ankles. "DON'T CALL ME LITTLE!"

Vincent sighed, and got up and backhanded Edward across the face. Blinded by rage, Edward went into POLC mode (Pissed Off Little Chibi) and attempted to reach Vincent's neck to choke the homosexual life out of him. Of course, Edwards's arms were too **cough** short **cough cough** to reach and he ended up flailing his arms in midair.

Tired out, Edward collapsed on the ground, heaving for air. Feeling weak, he felt his stomach grumble, empty for days. Edward tried to eat normal food, but no matter how much he ate, it provided no substance. However, that also meant Ed could eat as much as he wanted (just what we needed, another GLUTTONY! **Face palm**) and he was kicked out of many inns and taverns due to this.

Vincent lowered himself to Ed's level, squatting on the ground. Smirking, he asked, "Aww…what's this? Feeling a little, puckish? Hmmm?" Seeing Ed's eyes widen, he poked fun at him. "There is a tasty little girl right there you know….fresh blood, tender, smooth flesh….i'm tempted to eat her right up myself. But if you wanted her…."

Ed's arm shot out and hit open air where Vincent's head was a mere millisecond ago. Grinning, Vincent chopped down on Ed's arm, paralyzing it (KARATE CHOP! HI-YA! XD) Edward grimaced and glared at Vincent.

"I….I will not…will not taste blood….never…."

Vincent smiled. "So you're not eating her? You could make it quick and painless for her….you see, I've always been a bit of a messy eater…" He got up, and winked at the girl cowering in the corner, being in a room with two hungry Vampires.

He grinned, revealing sharp fangs, and started toward the girl.

~Envy~

Prowling through the streets as a lithe black cat, Envy searched everywhere for his little chibi. Everywhere, from dark alleyways to the inside of churches. He just couldn't find his little chibi. He even went to the very highest point of Transylvania and yelled out "WHERE ARE YOU MY LITTLE CHIBI?" to see if he could hear Edward's reaction.

But despite his diligent search, his efforts were fruitless. He couldn't find his little Edo.

Going back to the night of the incident, he wondered why Vincent was so strong. He was so easy to beat before…Envy could play with him. Perhaps Vincent was weak from hunger? If that was true, then Vampires were dangerous indeed.

Or perhaps he had drunken some special blood? Or had he done something special?

It was definatley worth looking into. Perhaps Envy could use it for himself. He smiled a bit. Then he could stick it to that homosexual little bastard.

Envy smiled wider. Yes, that was something to look forward to.

Suddenly, he had an idea. Perhaps he wouldn't need a supernatural boost to kill Vincent.

~?~

Walking down the alleyway, he saw a young, pale skinned girl. Moving with unnatural grace, she appeared to be searching for someone or something.

Sailing all the way from his home of Japan, he came here, to Transylvania, Romania, to search for kyuketsuki, or Blood sucking spirits.

They were called Vampires in this country. And he would hunt them all, and kill them.

His hand gripping the handle his _wakizashi_, a short sword commonly used in his country, concealed in his sleeve, he began to approach the girl. She was obviously one of them. He was confident he could beat her. Back in Tokugawa, Japan, he was revered as a sword saint, one who had mastered the art of the blade to the point of bordering the divine. Even with her supernatural speed and strength, he'd be able to best her most surely.

Suddenly, the girl transformed.

A layer of red sparks spread throughout her body, and turned her into a young man, a lithe, pale, strangely dressed one. He had long greenish hair, unseen even in this country. The man turned around, wielding a long saber, grinning.

"何の神くそ!" he cursed, as the man slashed at him with the saber. It was the slash of one who was inexperienced, but had the speed and agility to make up for it. Catching the slash with his blade, he twirled the _wakizashi_ around and neatly sliced the tendon at the man's elbow. Paralyzed, the man dodged back, quickly switching the sword to his left hand.

Red sparks flashed, and before his eyes, the flesh and skin knit together and healed. Experimentally flexing his arm, he grinned wider and flipped the blade back to his right arm.

"あなたの愚かな" the man said, in perfect Japanese.

He suddenly rushed and slashed, with incredible speed and skill. Naifu* couldn't believe his eyes. Despite his best efforts, his blade was knocked from his hands and the man's saber at his neck.

*_Literally, Knife._

"、慈悲を持ってください" Naifu begged.

"それは残念だ！" He laughed, and plunged it into his neck. Naifu's vision went black.

CHAPTER END

Kai: Poor Naifu….he just entered the story too…

Naifu: ちきしょう、この間抜けて、なぜあなたは私を殺すためにあるのですか？

Kai: Calm down dude, jesus.

Yui: I think he's pissed…

Envy: It feels great to be the heartless jerk again. **Grin**

Ed: Help? Please?

Kai: Don't worry Ed, Envy will save you!

Yui: **looks at Envy** right after he's done rolling in Naifu's blood…

Envy: ahahaha, hehehe, hahaha! **happy face**

Kai: I'd hate to ruin his good mood.

PLEASE REVIEW! ALL REVIEWS GO TO HELPING EDWARD COPE WITH HIS GROWING HUNGER AND SAVING THE GIRLS LIFE!

Girl: Please! Vincent scares me!

Vincent: …such tender flesh…..

Kai: Why is Gluttony coming up so often?

Gluttony: It's a girl! Such tender flesh!

Vincent: **glares at Gluttony** she's MINE!

Yui: Facepalm.


	11. Chapter 11 Animal Within

Kai: "_Set me off like dynamite, strapped tied around my waist…"_

Yui: What the hell are you singing?

Kai: It's "_Worth Dying For_" by Rise Against. One of my favorite songs.

Yui: Really. It sounds lame….

Kai: O RLY? What songs better then hmm?

Yui: "_Hell Above Water_" by Curve. It's waayy better.

Kai: You mean the one they used for the CSI Soundtrack? That was okay I guess….

Yui: **points at you guys** hey, the readers are here.

Kai: Oh hey! What's up?

Yui: We're sorry for using actual Japanese in the previous chapter.

Kai: We believed it would make it more realistic.

Yui: But then we realized all it did was make you irritated switching back and forth from Fanfiction to Google Translate.

Kai: And I guess it was weird that Envy is fluent in Japanese.

Yui: Yeah.

Kai: We're thinking of splitting the story up into alternate endings now, but we're having trouble with ideas.

Yui: My idea is that Ed eats the girl and kills Vincent.

Vincent: Hey!

Kai: My idea is that Edward bites Envy and drinks his blood and they become a little couple.

Envy: mmmm…..smexy….

Ed: Ehhh?

Kai: Anyhow, review your suggestions and we'll get right back to ya.

Yui: Yup!

CHAPTER START

~Edward~

Edward's eyes widened in horror as Vincent started towards the girl, fangs shooting out of his gums. The girl began to tremble in terror, as the tall, superhuman vampire advanced on her dramaticly.

As he came up to her, looming up from the shadow of the tower, he sighed, and his fangs retracted back into his gums.

"As much as I'd like to replenish my hunger, I have to save this one for you~u!" he said cutely. Edward felt sick.

"How long has it been since you were infected? A while ago, right? How many days do you have left? Oh yes…" He smirked, a malicious glint in his eyes, "Only a week. The last week is the 'Hell Raising' week." He laughed. "So many believe they can make it through the last week. But little do they know the last week is when the virus manifests in their cerebral cavity, hijacking their animal instincts, and driving them to feed, no matter how strong their will. They're reduced to little more than savage, starved beasts. And nothing can stop them."

He turned around abruptly, waving over his shoulder. "Well, I guess I'll leave you to your feeding. And as the Italians' say, _Ciao_." Then he remembered something. Pulling out a knife, he stabbed Ed in the chest. Not expecting it, he took a minute to regain his bearings, giving Vincent enough time to lean forward and drain a little blood from his neck while filling a vial from the wound before the vampiric healing ability closed the wound and stopped the bleeding. Pulling back from a shocked (and pissed) Ed, he grinned and said "To curb my hunger a bit. I'll need _MUCH_ more to satisfy me."

And with that, the homosexual vampire left, leaving behind a sense of uneasyness.

~Envy~

After killing the strange Japanese man, who was undoubtedly a vampire hunter from the silver stake and arsonist's paper he found in the folds of the man's _kimono_, he marveled at the arsonist's paper. It was originally silk ribbon, with strange runes painted on, it had been soaked in gasoline and dried to a paper like texture, then soaked again and dried until it was supersaturated. Lighting it on fire would mean an explosion of flames, incinerating everything within five feet of the paper. Not much range, but there were several stacks of about 25 papers, all connected like a net by thin thread. By hurling a stack, it would fan out and envelop the target in a layer of the arsonist paper. Then all you had to do was _spark_, and there you had it. Human barbeque. Actually, that didn't sound bad. But that might've been the empty stomach talking.

What awed Envy was that the man had no flint, no way of sparking the flames. The only other things the man had was a small pouch of coins (which Envy slipped into the pocket of his cloak which he wore to hide his strange attire), a vial of blood (to lure the vampires no doubt), the sheath of the _wakizashi_, and a oddly shaped silver cross. The cross appeared to look like a disfigured cross without the top, so it looked like the letter "T". Envy read about these before. They were called "Franciscan Crosses", created by Saint Francis to mark his disciples who healed the sick, his apostles also, in secret, acted as exorcists who purified demons of all varieties. _Including_ vampires. He pocketed that too. He thought it might make a nice gift for his little chibi and at least earn him a hug and kiss.

Then he noticed the lining of the sheath of the sword. It was lined with a dark grey stone of some sort. Flint.

Envy understood. When he pulled the sword from the sheath, it sparked enough to light the arsonist's paper from a distance of ten feet. That, was really cool.

"Alright my sweet little chibi lover, I'm coming to save ya!" He shouted, and he set off to where he suspected Vincent had hidden.

~Edward~

About an hour after Vincent left the cell, all hell broke loose within Edward's body. Wow, I just made it sound like Edward was going through puberty again. Or the first time, I'm not really sure.

The virus had finally spread to his brain, just as promised, and thus began hijacking his bodily functions. His reasoning and logic was limited as his animal instinct and hormonal urges were maximized and enlarged. His brain halted digestion (which was useless seeing he didn't eat anymore) and redirected the energy into his senses like smell and taste.

The smell of blood was driving him insane. To survive, he could not ingest a single drop of blood, lest he be turned into a vampire. But at the same time, his bloodlust grew as the seconds ticked by. He glanced at the frightened girl, knowing that she had a really high chance of dying, if Edward gave into the animal inside, and satisfied the gnawing pangs inside. She edged away from the one she once felt safety with because he was now the one who potentially may end her life in a gory, blood-filled way.

Edward, while grasping desperately at what was left of his reason, was also aware of the girl's tender, soft flesh, and the thin blue vein running along the side of her neck, feeling the blood flow through it, and immediately, he was taken by an insane urge to grab the girl and tear her neck open and just drink it in, to bathe in her blood in insane glee, the joy of one who enjoys the feeling of life ebbing from a body, of the feel of blood on their skin, because that was how insanity was born.

And because he could not take it any longer, he got up and started toward the girl.

CHAPTER END

Kai: Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod…..

Yui: This is gonna be bad.

Girl: EEEEKKK

Vincent: **victory dance** yayyy

Kai: Vincent, you're a dick.

Vincent: That's how you made me ^^

Kai: true….


	12. Chapter 12 Vincent Dies, AGAIN

Kai: Alright, now on to Blood on the Bedspread 12!

Yui: Ironicly, nobody reads our fan-fiction anymore.

Kai: So why continue?

Yui: Cause there are still a few hard-core readers out there who possibly will kill us if we discontinue!

Kai: Yes we're talking to you Atama! And anyone else who still read this fanfiction up to this point!

Yui: We like making our readers feel special.

Kai: Alright, a little recap.

Yui: Edward's gonna kill the girl!

Kai: No, Envy is gonna save him and her at the last moment!

Yui: No, Edwards gonna become a vampire! **Glare**

Kai: No, Ed and Envy will survive and become a couple! **Glare**

Ed: Can I say something?

Kai & Yui: NO.

Ed: **Takes Cover** okay, okay….

Envy: This is getting out of control.

Ulquiorra: ….

Kai: Wait, why is there a Bleach character here?

Yui: Because we just finished the episode with the final battle between Ichigo and Ulquiorra yesterday?

Kai: Oh yeah….

Ulquiorra: ….

Envy: Say something!

Ulquiorra: ….

Kai: Just leave him alone. He's just cranky 'cause he died.

Ulquiorra: ….Cero…..

Yui: OH CRAP RUUUUUNN! **Runs**

Kai & Envy: **runs**

Ulquiorra: … Ha….. *grabs computer* I shall type up a fanfiction in which I kill Ichigo Kurosaki….

Kai & Yui: Hey! **Runs after Ulquiorra**

Envy: Hahaha….Anime and Manga obsessed fangirls and boys….they're a whole other species of human altogether….

CHAPTER START

Edward, driven by hunger, fueled by the virus within, began advancing on the girl. The girl, with tear stained eyes and the look of an animal cornered, knowing that there is no escape. Edward's eyes took on a strange look, one that betrayed his inner beast. The animal inside.

Grabbing her by the shoulder, he forced her down to the ground. Then, gently, almost ritualistically, he pulled down the collar of her dress, exposing the pale, soft skin underneath. His hands ran along her body, feeling its curves and shapes. The girl trembled as his hands ran over her chest, glancing her breasts. Edward's gums burned, feeling the adrenaline rush through him as he lowered his head and put his mouth over her neck.

But, just then, Vincent burst into the room, irritated. "Did you eat that girl yet? Because I'm impatient and I don't like having to wait for you to fucking go through the meaning of your life." He threw his hands in the air. "Honestly! Just get on with it! I mean, you're not going to be able to control your damn self so just do it now before you fucking rip her to shreds! I prefer you drain her blood, not rip her apart. Pain in the ass to clean up. Do you think I have a bunch of fucking maids? Well I don't. I mean-"

He noticed Ed and the girl in the corner. His interruption had caused Edward's trance to break, allowing him to regain his senses. He blinked and shook his head, confused. Vincent facepalmed. He swore, and turned around and slamed the door, muttering "Bad timing. Baaaaaaad timing."

He didn't notice the dark, flittering shadow that flew across the wall.

~Envy~

Breathless, Envy looked up at the tall, imposing castle wedged between two small mountains, dark and intimidating. Where Vincent got these castles, Envy didn't know, but all that mattered was that his little Edo was in there.

Whirling the grapping hook around in the air, Envy scowled. The castle was built of stone, with metal edging around the windows and on the tops. Throwing a hook up there would make a loud clanking noise, and maybe alert that bastard to where he was.

Deciding on a spot to aim at, Envy hurled the hook, whirling in the air.

It smashed through a window. Damn, he had bad aim. Glass showered all over the place, making noise and such. But Envy now had a firm climbing area, and so he began scaling the rope. He window wasn't high up, so he managed to get in and hide behind a tapestry. On second thought, he sliced the hook off and hid it, tying a stone to the rope and hiding again. He heard footsteps as he slipped behind the cloth.

"What the fuck? God damn kids, always chucking shit at my windows. This time there's a rope attached to it. What the hell is that for?" Envy heard Vincent swear. "Now I have to clean this up. God I wish I still had Katrina here to boss around. That Edward dumbass has made her all smushy soft. Where the fuck is that god damn broom?" He stomped off, obviously pissed.

Envy let out a breath, relieved. Then a blade pierced the tapestry and entered his chest.

~Edward~

"Sorry about that." Edward said, laying on his back on the floor.

"I told you it's okay, you couldn't help it." The girl rested her head on his chest, nuzzling his shirt. Edward placed a hand on her back, sighing. "I'm not pissed that I almost ate you, im pissed that I practically sexually assaulted you."

The girl and Ed blushed. "I said it's okay" she murmured into his shirt.

Edward held her closer and sighed again. "I wish Envy would come save us."

~Envy~

"Fuck!"

Pulling himself free of the blade, he regenerated as he burst from the tapestry. Vincent stood there with a thin saber, a look on his face that was divided between annoyance and amusement. "I thought I smelled something familiar. And the bulge in the tapestry is to~tally unsuspicious." He whistled, as if he were impressed. Envy scowled. Pulling the _wakizashi_ from his cloak, the sparks flew as Envy freed the blade from its scabbard. Rushing at supernatural speed at Vincent, he was little more than a blur as he slammed his blade into Vincent's. But Vincent was just as fast, blocking the upward slash of the _wakizashi_ with a twisting block that held the blade behind him across his shoulder. A blitz of slashes and blocks ensued, sparks and clangs emitted from the two as they attempted to harm the other as humanly- er…. _Inhumanly_ possible.

Envy's hand dug into his cloak, searching for the arsonist's paper. Vincent laughed. "Another sword? Please, it won't work. I'm just too fast for y-"

Interuppted by a layer of paper in the face, Envy sheathed the blade making sparks fly igniting the papers. The result was explosive as a wave of heat rushed throughout the hallway. Vincent jerked his head back as his face was literally blown to bits. Bits of burnt, charred flesh. Clutching his face, Envy threw more stacks of the paper at him, causing more and more of the flaming explosions, cremating Vincent's body. As he hurled them, he hurled threats and obscenities as Vincent burned to ashes. Finally, when all the papers were burnt, Vincent was no more.

CHAPTER END

Kai: Phew….i'm glad we put off Edward killing the girl. I was getting worried.

Yui: Yeah. Speaking of which, how did you get our computer back?

Kai: I gave Ulquiorra mom's desktop password.

Ulquiorra: **Hunched up over computer screen** What are these red and green lines under some of my words?

Kai: **peers at computer screen** Uhh….those are marks that mean you misspelled words or used bad grammar.

Ulquiorra: ….

Kai: Ah! Don't worry! We have tons! They don't mean anything! They mean the computer is jealous of your awesomeness! DON'T KILL MY MOM'S COMPUTER!

Ulquiorra: …. Very well…. **Continues typing**

Yui: **whispers** nice save.

Kai: Mom would kill us if her computer was messed up.

Ed: I just raped a girl….

Yui: No, you _ALMOST_ raped a girl.

Ed: D:

Kai: Dude, chill.

Vincent: I just died. AGAIN.

Envy: fuck YEA.

Kai: **Pats Vincent on back** You had a good run.

Vincent: ;_;

Yui: awww cheer up dude.

Kai: Yeah, we'll put you in another fanfiction sometime.

Vincent: Reeeeaaallly?

Yui: Yeah.

PLEASE REVIEW! ALL REVIEWS GO TO GETTING VINCENT A SPOT IN ANOTHER FANFICTION! ALSO, PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS FANFICTION! KAI IS GETTING WORRIED THAT NO ONE WILL READ IT.

Kai: If no one reads it, we won't continue. Hmph! **turns away**

Yui: Heeeyy….dont be a jerk.


	13. Chapter 13 Ed Needs His Blood

(Due to Kai being rude to Yui, Kai will have to do the authors notes himself for awhile, or at least until he apologizes to Yui.)

Kai: Which is, of course, never. Whatever. I can do this myself.

Alright! First off, we've been looking at our traffic levels for our stories, and let me just say I am really, really disappointed. We had only 49 hits and 36 visitors to BOTBS at the most. Pain in the ass. Second! We found out our -Man fanfiction "Deep Down Inside", which is Fo X Allen is the SECOND Fo X Allen story in there. There's only two. Yay….

We're striving to 100 visitors for our stories, and nobody but Atama reviews our stories anymore, so it's looking kinda bleak. And depressing.

Envy: That's because you two are no-lifes who don't do anything but type fanfiction. GET A LIFE.

Kai: Hey, I have a life. I play sports and shit. I hang out with my friends. Like Brett.

Brett P.: Hi Guys! **XD**

Envy: And your point is?

Kai: Yui is the one with no life. **glares at Yui**

Yui: **playing video games**

Kai: And besides, we're having a lack of inspiration for our crap.

Envy: Whatever.

_~CHAPTER START~_

~Edward~

Edward was passing out. The girl, knowing if Ed passed out would turn into a scary person, tried desperately to keep him awake. At the moment, she was sitting on his chest.

"And you think this will help how?" Ed asked, slightly annoyed.

The girl, not facing his face with her back to him, looked over her shoulder and said "Well, if you need to struggle to breathe, you won't pass out right?"

Ed yawned. "But I can breathe just fine." He pointed out.

"You can?" the girl decided to jump up and down on his chest. "How 'bout now?"

Ed's chest hurt now. "Stop! **Cough** that hurts!"

Then he noticed, since the girl was wearing a skirt, when she jumped up and was headed down, the skirt blew up to reveal her panties. Edward averted his eyes and blushed. But he couldn't help but take glances at it.

It was very arousing, and of course, when a guy gets aroused…

"Hey!" The girl stopped bouncing on him. "What's this lump in your pants?"

Ed blushed more. "I-i-it's n-nothing…."

"Then can I like, smash it down?" She raised a fist.

Edward burst up from the pile of straw he was lying on before he got his dick smushed. And we all know that's a pretty bad thing for guys. The girl rubbed her head where she landed on it and frowned. "Ouch. That hu~urt. What'd you do that for?"

But the sudden rush of blood to er….Ed's….um….private area, caused a reaction with the virus. The virus took control once more, and his eyes went all….weird. They were filled with blood lust again and the girl realized what was happening.

When Ed came up to her, she hugged his legs, begging for him to regain his senses. "Please Edward, please! I don't wanna die. Please don't kill me. Please don't kill-"

She then noticed Ed still had an erection. So she punched it, hoping it would make him regain consciousness. It did, but, lets just say Ed wasn't very happy.

~Envy~

"_Warm yourself by the fire son, and the morning will come soon…"_

Envy straightened up, as the voice came from nowhere as he was stalking the hallways of Vincent's Castle.

"_I'll tell you stories of a better time", in a place that we once knew."_

Envy pulled out his _wakizashi_, ready to slash at whatever came out. Unless it was Ed. Walking slowly towards where the sound was coming from, he peeked into the room from where it came from.

A small device was on a table, sleek and cool, with long white cord coming out of one end. The cord split up into two about two-thirds of the way and each end had a strange circular part with a grey stripe around the circle. It was bright purple.

The music was coming from the circular parts, faint, but amplified and echoed through the halls.

"_We had a place that we could call home, in a life no-one could touch."_

Suddenly the song burst into loud ranting and yelling that Envy couldn't understand. Slapping his hand on it in reflex, he accidently glanced the white circle on the device, the part of the circle with a triangle and two lines. It clicked, and the music stopped.

Envy peered at the glass, which lit up when he touched the device. There were words on it, as long as a white square picture of strange, ghost like beings. The words said "Prayer of the Refugee". Beneath that, in smaller text, it said "Rise Against".

Envy picked up the device. Flipping it over, he read the inscription on the back. _"iPod," _he read aloud. _"8GB, Serial no.: YM806FVE3QU…."_

A long line of stange words, such as _"Designed by Apple in California"_ and _"Assembled in China"_ followed. A line of strange symbols lined the bottom.

After experimenting, he found that the circular parts fit into ones ear very well, and by running ones thumb along the circle, you could adjust the volume of the music coming out. He grinned, wondering what _"California"_ was and how an Apple could design something.

~Edward~

Grabbing the girl roughly, he was controlled by some other unstoppable force.

"_What am I doing?"_ he'd ask himself. But there was no answer as his hands, yet not his hands, found the collar of the girl's dress. Tearing it off, his gums throbbed painfully.

"_I need to stop…"_ His hands traveled lower, tracing the girl's body.

"_I need to stop, to think…"_ He leaned forward, breathing heavily into her ear.

"_I need to listen…" _His hands found her waist, and he placed his mouth over her neck as his hands slipped under her undergarments.

"_I need…I need…I need to feed…"_

"_Because I need it."_

"_I need her blood."_

And he bit down.

The girl screamed, as his teeth penetrated her skin and into the vein. Blood gushed out into Edward's mouth, coating his tongue in a metallic, salty taste. His body reacted to the blood, the feeling almost orgasmic as he gulped down the rich red fluid.

The girl began to moan more than scream, as the feeling of the blood being sucked out of her became pleasure than pain. Tear stained, she realized she was going to die, as her vision began to black out.

Suddenly, the door flew open as Envy kicked it, and when he saw what Ed was doing he cried out something that sounded like a cross between "Edward!" and "No!" so that it sounded like "Ednooo!" Envy grabbed him by the shoulder and yanked him back. Ed lost grip on the girl's neck, but not before Edward swallowed at least a cup of the girl's blood.

Envy fell to his knees, holding Ed's head in his lap. Edward's eyes rolled back, making them look completely white as the virus took hold.

And turned him into a vampire.

Edward's last thought as he slipped into unconsciousness was:

"_Because I need Envy's blood."_

~CHAPTER END~

Kai: Wow, that sucked. And I can't believe what I just typed. That was horrible.

Yui: **sneaks a peek at the chapter**

Kai: Maybe I should delete it all and start over.

Yui: NOOOOOO!

Kai: ? WTF?

Yui: Er…I mean…

Kai: That's really weird. But hey, I'm sorry for eating the last Klondike bar in the freezer without you knowing.

Yui: Aww it's okay.


	14. Chapter 14 Learn to Accept Who You Are

Kai: Because we're so late on the updating of this chapter…

Yui: Almost a month! _

Kai: Because we were too busy…

Yui: Watching Bleach! XD

Kai: And because we were working…

Yui: On our new series "The Retired Manga Character Zone"!

Kai: Which isn't showing up on the search thing because it's being gay…

Yui: So you'll have to read it though Kai's profile page by clicking the link at the bottom!

Kai: So as you can see, we don't wanna waste anytime on a stupid authors note.

Yui: Oh and the fourm! We has a fourm! It's an FMA "Create a Character" thingy!

Kai: That too.

Envy: In you're explanation for not doing an author's note, you did an authors note. -.-

Kai: Hey! Shut up!

Yui: That's mean brother!

Kai: Whatever. **punches Envy**

Envy: **punches back** Don't be a dick. D:

Kai: Why don't you? D:

**Big Fight**

~CHAPTER START~

Envy knelt on the ground of the tower, holding Edward's body close to his chest. The girl, having lost a cup of blood, had fainted and was lying down of the straw in the corner of the room. Envy sobbed quietly, whispering things like "Im sorry my little chibi, im so sorry im late" and "I couldn't save you. I just couldn't save you.". The sword and the IPod lay forgotten on the floor, the iPod still churning out "What is Love?".

_What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more…_

Envy sobbed, as Edward's body trembled and twitched as the virus took hold and killed his body, and he turned into a vampire. His head rested on Envy's shoulder, and when Edward opened his eyes once more…

He bit on Envy's neck.

Envy cried out in pain a little as Edward, hungering for blood, drank heavily from his neck. Envy, being a homunculus, regenerated constantly, thus replenishing the blood lost to Ed's hunger. Squeezing Ed tight, Envy whispered "Yes, drink from me. Drink only from me. I couldn't save you, but the least I can do, is feed you and keep you from harming others. You wouldn't like hurting other people right?"

Edward simply slurped more blood.

Finally, when Edward's hunger was finally satisfied, he opened his eyes and realized what he had done. "aaahh….aaahhh…" he began sobbing. And, as any one knows, crying is infectous if you know why they're crying, and so Envy began quietly crying too. Edward cried and cried until the whole shoulder of Envy's top was soaked with salty tears. Envy cried and cried until the whole shoulder of Ed's coat was soaked. And the girl was silently crying in her sleep too.

Finally, Envy squeezed Ed tightly, and sat up, sniffling. "Okay, we can't let this ruin us. We still love each other, we've still got one another."

Edward stopped crying a bit and looked at Envy despratley. "But no matter what im still gonna need blood. How do I stop that?"

Envy reached up to his neck where the bite marks Ed put there were healing. He smiled a small smile. "You've still got me. I have an unlimited amount of blood, so you don't need to worry about that." His smile faltered a bit when he winced at the pain. Reaching out gently, he placed his fingers on the holes on Ed's neck. Ed reached up and held his hand. "It's okay," he said. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

Envy leaned forward, gently stroking Ed's neck. Despite becoming a vampire (and thus becoming very pale) Ed managed to blush redder than his old coat. Ed leaned forward as well and before they knew it, Envy was on top of Ed kissing him fiercely, both blushing and both very very glad they still had one another.

Meanwhile, a large sailing ship had arrived from America, with people of all sorts of nationality coming with it. The men (and few women) that disembarked had hard eyes, the kind that stared at you coldly like a snake ready to strike. They held briefcases or bags of all sorts, the kind that made you wonder what sinister objects were held inside.

One of them noticed a girl sitting on a barrel on the dock. He immediately recognized her as a vampire. Motioning to his sailing compainions they pulled a variety of firearms or crossbows from their respective cases or pouches.

The girl looked at them and shrugged. She didn't care. She had been counting down the time 'till Ed became a vampire, and unfortunately, times up.

So she didn't care if she died. If fact, it'd be nice to see what the afterlife was like.

Yes, she thought as she fell to the ground, laden with stakes and silver bullets, it would be nice…

To see Edward again, in heaven.

~CHAPTER END~

Kai and Yui: WAAAAHHHH! WE MADE KATRINA DIEEEE! ;_;

Envy: Calm down! Hey, you didn't cry like this when Vincent died!

Kai: That's cuz we don't give a damn about him

Vincent: Hey! _

Yui: Fuck off. No one cares about you.

Vincent: ;_; **runs**

Envy: Well im glad to see him gone.

Katrina: This sucks. Now im dead like my brother.

Yui: shhhhh….we has a surprise for chu….

Katrina: :O Really?

Vincent: Hey I didn't get a surprise!

Kai: Here. **tosses chocolate** Surprise.

Vincent: Yayyy! ^^

_PLEASE REVIEW! All reviews go to buying Vincent more chocolate and buying Envy an iTunes giftcard to get more music! That, or a laptop __

Kai: Oh yeah! We're sorry 'bout the short chapter. We had a little writters block.


	15. Chapter 15 Beligerence and War

_Yui is too friggin' busy to do fanfiction due to high school AP classes. So thus, Kai (who is also pretty busy) has to do this himself. He apologizes for the late chapter._

Kai: High school sucks.

Envy: That's why I didn't go.

Kai: You didn't go because you didn't EXIST.

Envy: D: So I'm a figment of your imagination?

Kai: Possibly. Mine and Yui's.

Envy: You guys have a really weird mind.

Kai: :D We knowww.

Envy: **facepalm**

Ed: What's going on?

Kai: You guys are a figment of my imagination.

Ed: What? That doesn't make sense.

Envy: Thank you!

~CHAPTER START~

Edward felt a deep pain inside his chest as Envy screamed, dropping his body on the stone floor. Blood had burst from his chest, as if a shotgun at six inches had just blasted him. There were injuries on his arms and legs as well, but the largest concentration was around his heart.

It looked as if he were a target being shot at by an entire division of troops. Very accurate troops that aimed to kill.

Envy ripped his shirt (or what you could call his midriff exposing top) off and tried to stem the bleeding, unsuccessfully. Envy was freaking out, forgetting the fact Ed was immortal and could heal supernaturally.

Something was very wrong.

At the dock, the group of vampire hunters surrounded the dead, cold body of Katrina, _rigor mortis_ already setting in. Blood pooled around the injuries of the crossbow bolts and silver bullets, grouped at her heart. Each hunter's aim was true, since they prided themselves on the accuracy of their shot, but the large mass of bullets and bolts was so many, the bullets and bolts knocked each other off course, hitting her in different spots. She was definitely dead.

Suddenly, a massive, glowing array of light burst open around the hunters. At it's center was Katrina's body. The array, had Edward been there, would've been identified as a transmutation circle. The exact one used to create the philosopher's stone, but more elaborate. The array glowed a bright, blood red, engulfing the hunters in a scarlet light. Bolts and sparks of red electricity arced through the air as a massive eye opened in the circle. An eye with purple pupils and little, thin arms reaching out and grasping onto anything they could. The hunters screamed in pain as their very souls were drained out of them.

The array continued to grow, engulfing fishing ships and the small village. The souls of it's inhabitants and the local wildlife (think of all that fish!) were drained, and merged into a bright, scarlet crystal, roughly the size and shape of a quarter, but thicker. This crystal was suspended in mid air above Katrina's body.

Then, as the bodies of the dead fell to the ground, the array faded and the eye closed. And the philosopher's stone dropped directly into Katrina's open and bloody heart.

Edward suddenly convulsed and spasmed, his back bending over backwards in pain as red light and sparks burst from the wound. The wound began closing, as Edward writhed in pain. Envy twitched, recognizing the light immediately. He knew what it looked when a person became a homunculus. But why Edward? Edward hadn't been exposed to anything alchemically related for at least a year.

As Edward's wounds stopped healing, Ed coughed and sat up, rubbing his back. There was a different look in his eye, and this worried him. "Chibi?..."

Ed looked at him. "Mmmphh? Envy? What happened?"

Envy tilted his head, examining him. "Are you okay? You looked like you were in pain."

Ed shrugged. "I dunno. I felt it, but now I feel fine."

Envy frowned. "Um, okay. Do you wanna drink some human blood or something?"

Ed licked his lips. "Yeah, I'm pretty hungry. Look, there's a gir-"

Ed didn't finish. Envy smashed him up against a wall. "I knew it. Chibi wouldn't ever drink a human's blood."

Edward frowned. "What are you doing Envy? I'm just kinda hungry."

Envy punched him in the face. "Don't f*** with me. I know you're not Ed. What have you done to him?" Edward clenched his teeth. "Envy, let me go. I can prove it if you want."

"Prove it."

"The room you kidnapped me and lived in, it was an inn with a picture of Rush Valley in it."

Envy leapt backward, Ed dropping to the floor. The moonlight filtered in through the window, illuminating Ed's body as he sat, smiling. "What's wrong Envy?"

Suddenly, Envy pulled out a slip of arsonist's paper. Igniting it, he hurled it at the hay, creating a bonfire. The light flared and lit up the room. The bright yellow light was blinding. Edward writhed and screamed, falling to his knees and grasping his skin, as if literally burned off.

And as the last of the skin burned off, all that was left was a pale, black haired person wearing Edward Elric's clothes.

The person got up, glaring at Envy. His hair was roughly the same length, not the same color however, and his skin was as pale as Envy's. Muscle lined his body lightly, slightly more so than Envy, however he also had a tattoo of some sort on his cheek. It was a tattoo of eight rings, linked together like a + and a x sign layered on top of each other, with a dot in the center. He had a scowl that could've made peace-keeping hippies pissed.

Envy glared back. "Who the f*** are you?"

He stood up to his full height, about 5'8" now, smirking. "My name, is Beligerence, and I am the third _Fiend_." He snapped out his hand to the side, revealing Edward's automail. But even that had changed, turning from steel to a dark grey color with strange etchings on it.

"_Perforar__le,__lancero demonio." _He murmured, smiling.

And the "Fiend" transformed.

His body enlongated, neck stretching out forward and his arms lengthening, the automail's fingers fusing together into a long, sharp point. The "wrist" of the automail flared out slightly, so when he pointed it directly at the space between Envy's eyes, it looked like a diamond. A pole-like growth, undoubtedly very hard, grew out the back of his elbow. White rib-like spines grew around his chest, resembling a ribcage. A skull appeared on the top of his head, and his clothing (Ed's clothes that is) melted away and turned into a white outfit with black trim, resembling that of a european explorer or perhaps, a privateer.

He grinned. "You like?" he asked?

Envy scowled. "F*** you to hell."

"Aww." He placed his unchanged hand (now gloved) on his face. Obscureing Envy's view, he doubled over backwards and burst in a mad fit of laughing, still keeping his hand on his face. When he straightened back up and removed his hand, Envy almost gasped and cried out.

It was Edward Elric's face staring at him, fear and worry in his eyes. However he was still two inches talled than he should be.

"E-e-envy…save me…"

Envy walked forward slowly, his feet dragging. "E-e-ed?"

Envy placed his hands on Ed's shoulders. "Edward, are you, are you _yourself?_"

Ed placed a hand on Envy's cheek. "Yeah. Yeah i am."

"Prove it."

Edward leaned forward and kissed him, with that plain old clumsy patheticly bad kiss that was so adoreable to Envy. Envy almost moaned in relief as his and Edward's tounge twined together.

Suddenly, Edward's lance-arm, still transformed (his body was normal, yet still dressed in the Fiend's clothes with the automail transformed) lashed out and pierced Envy in the chest. Pulling away, Edward grinned. "You're so pathetic."

Envy gagged and coughed up blood. Red sparks coursed, but since the lance was still lodged in Envy's chest, it couldn't heal completely. Edward raised his arm, lifting Envy a half foot above the ground.

"What do you think? You weren't wrong feeling familiar to this body. This is still Edward Elric's body. Buuuttt…." He laughed. "I have his mind. And with his mind, i have every single little memory he has."

Hurling Envy against a wall (and thus freeing Envy from the lance) Beligerence looked down on Envy with mock respect. "Oh you're so awesome, being my ancestor. But im stronger, faster, and overall, better."

And with Edward Elric's face, he grinned the Envy grin.

~CHAPTER END~

Kai: Sorreh that was so weird! The Bleach is really getting to me, and you can see it's influence in the spanish here, and in beligerence's appearence. He was mainly based off of _Aaroniero Arruruerie's _appearance. Before you ask, our favorite characters are as following: 1: Ulquiorra 2: Hisagi 3: Kaien 4: Emilou Apacci 5: Ichigo

Envy: You guys are nerds.

Kai: Shut up, or I'll let you die from Beligerence. -.- Envy: XD Bullshit, you know I could take him.

Beligerence: Back to you.

Kai: Lets wait till the next chapter, shall we?

Emilou: NO! I WANNA READ THE 16TH CHAPTER RIGHT NOWWWWW!

Kai: sigh…. 


End file.
